Path: utzoo!attcan!utgpu!jarvis.csri.toronto.edu!rutgers!apple!bionet!csd4.milw.wisc.edu!leah!albanycs!crdgw1!uunet!mcvax!ukc!etive!hwcs!idc
From: idc@cs.hw.ac.uk (Ian Crorie)
Newsgroups: news.admin
Subject: In Clarification - new USENET service
Keywords: (:-v)
Message-ID: <576@odin.cs.hw.ac.uk>
Date: 15 Jun 89 17:16:59 GMT
Reply-To: idc@cs.hw.ac.uk (Ian Crorie)
Organization: Computer Science, Heriot-Watt U., Scotland
Lines: 60


The following article appeared in a local Edinburgh newspaper (the
Lothians Gazette and Mini Computer Weekly).   I thought the net might
be interested.

(quoted without permission)
ANNOUNCEMENT OF NEW SERVICE FOR COMPUTER NEWSREADERS

The world's computer networks are full to overflowing with absolutely
useless garbage says Antilles Technology's V.P. Brad Badfellow.
He believes this shocking state of affairs is more damaging to the
globe than were the Second World War, the Highland Clearances and the
MacDonald's Hamburger, put together.

He and his company, Altruistic Technology of Auchterader, Fife, want to
do something about it.   They plan to establish the `In Clarification
Network', a service that will monitor the USENET information flow
and weed out all the disgusting crap that their client's lives are
too short to read.

Badfellow argues that currently too much bandwidth is wasted by users
flooding the network with inane or irrelevant responses to articles.
He cites a recent case where rec.funny.humor moderator Benito
Templeton was forced to disconnect from the network for a period of
weeks after one particularly funny joke provoked thousands of messages
of congratulation.

This is the sort of problem that worries Badfellow.   ``Benito's system
just couldn't cope with the deluge.   For example, one fan, a Mr Matt
Oddjob, sent 11 messages expressing his devotion, 7 asking for an
autograph, 2 offers of marriage and one suggesting that Mr Templeton
stand down as moderator to allow him more time to concentrate on his
profit making activities.''   

Antidiluvian Technology's clients on the other hand, will, for a
``small daily charge'', be able to read, without dilution, the tip-top
cream of USENET articles.   Brad expects the ability to quickly
focus on, say, the latest tips on killing floating eyes on level 19
or the cheapest dinette sets for sale in New Jersey, to be a major
selling point for his service.

``Information excrement flows down the sewage pipes of the free world's
networks each and every day,'' Badfellow pointed out diffidently.
``I see the mission of my company, Posterior Technology, to get to the
bottom of the source of the sewage and wipe away the waste from our
electronic highways and byways.''   

Badfellow co-authored the 6 volume ``Metaphor Mixing, A Guide to the
World of Product Announcements'', and was instrumental in persuading
Alice in Wonderland Software of Waterloo to set up their new DumboNews
NewsWire SerVice.   ``We decided to name it after the best known
elephant we could think of,'', Brad confided to Gazette reporters, ``
since elephants, like the Contracts section of our Legal department,
never forget''.


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