Path: utzoo!attcan!utgpu!jarvis.csri.toronto.edu!rutgers!aramis.rutgers.edu!athos.rutgers.edu!christian From: christian@aramis.rutgers.edu Newsgroups: soc.religion.christian Subject: Re: Husband as leader in marriage Message-ID: Date: 26 Aug 89 21:50:50 GMT Sender: hedrick@athos.rutgers.edu Organization: University of California, Irvine - Dept of ICS Lines: 35 Approved: christian@aramis.rutgers.edu I am reluctant to post articles that are so full of widgets that we spend more time figure out who said what than getting any actual enlightenment on the subject. In this light, I have decided to summarize a posting from Wayne Iba commenting in detail on a response to him by Darin Johnson, rather than post it. Wayne seems to be concerned that people may have misinterpreted his intent. Darin responded to a posting by Wayne on the issue of the husband as leader. In Darin's response, his primary objection was to the attitude "you're my wife and you'll do what I say". This is far from what Wayne was suggesting in the original message. Indeed the primary content of Wayne's posting was an explanation that in light of the things said about the responsibility of the husband, this attitude was impossible. I'm not entirely sure that Darin was attributing this attitude to Wayne in the first place, but I can see how the posting could give that impression. It's fairly common for people to start out responding to an issue raised in a posting, but end up saying things that aren't specifically in response to it. In this case, it is sometimes useful to draw an explicit line between where you are responding to the original posting and where you are making more general comments. As must be obvious to everyone, there are two very different approaches to this issue in the Christian community. I do not want to say that there is no difference between the positions. But I would also like to make sure that we don't exaggerate the difference. Responsible spokesmen for the position that the husband is the head of the marriage do not have in mind some sort of arbitrary despot. If the husband is supposed to represent Christ, one must recall Christ's washing of his disciples' feet at the Last Supper. I myself prefer a more symmetrical concept of marriage, as I mentioned in my comments on the original posting. However I also respect those who believe the NT calls them to a model with the husband as leader. As long as there is a proper understanding of the leader as servant, this position is not as far away as it looks.