Path: utzoo!utgpu!jarvis.csri.toronto.edu!mailrus!csd4.csd.uwm.edu!cs.utexas.edu!rutgers!aramis.rutgers.edu!athos.rutgers.edu!christian From: ls2d+@andrew.cmu.edu (Laura Spencer) Newsgroups: soc.religion.christian Subject: marriage Message-ID: Date: 1 Sep 89 07:54:31 GMT Sender: hedrick@athos.rutgers.edu Lines: 42 Approved: christian@aramis.rutgers.edu I'd like to ask two questions to any interested people here: In my non-Christian marriage, we consult each other about major decisions, as I see many of you do also. We are a "team". What makes our marriage different from a Christian one, in this regard? The consensus here is that a Christian marriage is not to be a man's tyranny over a woman. But there are some (women as well as men) who will defend a tyrannical marriage as being "God's will" or the like. If this tyranny is *not* Christian, then what do you think about these people who live by the equation "Christian marriage = wife as slave to husband" ? Are they stumbling in some way? From your (Christian) point of view, what do you see here? Regards to all. Laura [To your first question, I think the answer is going to depend upon one's concept of Christian marriage. Actually, I think even those who think of the husband as leader would say that they consult each other about major decisions, and that they are a team. However teams may have leaders, and some Christians conceive of the husband as the leader. Others do not. Probably your marriage is rather similar in this regard to those who do not believe that the husband is automatically the leader. Of course there will be other differences. A Christian marriage includes a commitment to Christian fellowship between the partners, i.e. to a specifically religious dimension to the marriage. To the second question, it seems to me that you have supplied your own answer. You are right that no one here believes Christian marriage is supposed to be a tyranny. Of course some Christians do not accept the idea that the husband is automatically the leader. But whether you accept it or not, any leadership that goes on is supposed to put the other partner's interests above your own. The model is the relationship between Christ and mankind, in which Christ was the servant of all, and died for us. Anyone who uses Christian authority to push his own interests above those of the person he is responsible for is acting contrary to the express provisions of Scripture. I'm not sure whether this is an answer to your question or not. --clh]