Path: utzoo!attcan!utgpu!jarvis.csri.toronto.edu!mailrus!csd4.csd.uwm.edu!cs.utexas.edu!rutgers!aramis.rutgers.edu!athos.rutgers.edu!christian From: kriz@spica.usc.edu (Dennis Kriz) Newsgroups: soc.religion.christian Subject: Re: marriage Message-ID: Date: 4 Sep 89 09:54:54 GMT Sender: hedrick@athos.rutgers.edu Organization: University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA Lines: 44 Approved: christian@aramis.rutgers.edu [Laura Spencer, ls2d+@andrew.cmu.edu, described her (non-Christian) marriage, in which husband and wife are a team, adn asked whether it is different from a Christian one. She also asked what we think of a husband who, despite the concensus of this group that he should not be, is tyannical. --clh] The difference between your marriage and a Christian one is that ... well, you are not Christian. The question then is, why would it be better for you to be Christian rather than not. I somehow sense you don't believe there is any particular need for you to be a Christian, because if you did ... you'd be one. For me, I guess I got tired of hearing how "black really is white," that drugs are ok (they don't hurt anybody), that promiscuity is ok (so long as you don't get caught creating a child), that punting the created child is ok (because it's "your choice"), that greed is ok (how else can one get the beemer), and so on. Everyone of those "hey this is the 'real world' value statements" made me ill. I don't believe them. I then look at the cross, Christ nailed to the Cross, and I remember the Catholic liturgy heard everyday at mass ... that this is the "perfect sacrifice that reconciled God and the world." And I say "thank you." And it makes sense. Christ on the Cross is the most unambiguous sign of what it is to serve and to sacrifice that I can imagine. The good shephard lays down his life for the flock. And here he actually did so. And this then can explain to you why in a Christian marriage, a leader need not be (and isn't supposed to be) a tyrant. A leader in the Christian sense leads by being a servant. He who wishes to be first must be willing to be last That's basic Christian morality. In a phrase the question "What about MY needs?" doesn't come up in a Christian marriage, (or for that matter EVER in any context). Instead both people ask about the other's needs. And that again is Biblical, coming from Paul. To the extent that this is respected, and you are a Christian, you have a Christian marriage. If that isn't the case, there's no reason why you can not change it ... and that is between you and God. dennis kriz@skat.usc.edu