Path: utzoo!attcan!uunet!lll-winken!ames!mailrus!ukma!rutgers!aramis.rutgers.edu!athos.rutgers.edu!christian From: thompson@athos.rutgers.edu (Marge Thompson) Newsgroups: soc.religion.christian Subject: Re: Husband as leader; another reply Message-ID: Date: 7 Sep 89 07:02:13 GMT Sender: hedrick@athos.rutgers.edu Organization: Rutgers Univ., New Brunswick, N.J. Lines: 60 Approved: christian@aramis.rutgers.edu Three cheers for you Bonnie!!. I am a very happily married lady and let me assure you and anyone else who cares, had I married a man who abused me in any way, I would leave faster than you could say "Jack Rabbit". I don't believe our Lord meant any word resembling the word abuse when it comes to people living together as man and wife. Just because you took your vows in a Christian Church and thererfore should follow the word of God throughout your married life doesn't mean that God now says to us "ok guys, you are on your own". If either partner is abused in marriage, they should obviously turn to God for strength and instruction to know what to do next. I know because I have asked God for instruction, not in marriage matters but other matters and he speaks to me in so many ways....mostly thru my daily prayer book, entitled DAILY WORD...but He also clues me into his instructions via actions, via talking with others,etc. I once told the "kid next door" who is a born-again Christian, that God gives us all the instructions and instruments to use to make our world better and he expects us to use them and not be so narrow-minded to think that the only way we get instruction is from the bible. He wants us to see the end of the forest between the trees. In Deu.30:11-14 he tells us that his command is not too difficult to follow. We do nothave to have someone bring it to us and the last line seems to sum it all up..."you know it and can quote it, so obey it". Marriage is indeed an equal partnership - God has given us the rules and all we need to do is follow them and obeythem and the right decisions will come to both partners in a marriage. To Chris Hassell: Chris, it all boils down to understanding again. Sit down and communicate. I am not saying that in my 31 years of marriage, my husband and I have not argued. Arguing is healthy for the soul and body. It clears the air. But, we listen to each other, we are sympathetic to the needs of each other, and we work together to fulfill those needs. BTW, one of the first rules in our marriage was never to go to bed mad at each other. We sat up only twice during the 31 years all nite to discuss, debate, give each other insight, pray, and finally make a decision both of us could live with. We finally got to bed at 5:30 in the morning, slept for an hour and got up and went to work happy. We have given those instructions to many young couples, and those who have followed them, have succeeded in their marriage to date. We have a favorite saying in our house, "You learn from experience, but sometimes you must listen to the experienced to learn". God has given us all instructions but it seems to me that this entire discussion about marriage is because people want to read into it what they are personally feeling perhaps in their own lives or in the lives of those with whom they have a close relationship. I myself have read into it what I felt I wanted to read. Believe me when I tell you Genesis 2:24 has been the rule of our home since June 22, 1958. We have followed it and continue to follow it. We are one with each other. Praise God for He is certainly good to us. God did not make man to spend the days alone.....He made woman so that man would have a partner, and what is a partner. According to Webster, a partner is "one that shares" and further down the list "husband, wife". In Christian love.... Marge Thompson