Path: utzoo!attcan!utgpu!jarvis.csri.toronto.edu!rutgers!aramis.rutgers.edu!athos.rutgers.edu!christian From: bunker!garys@decvax.uucp (Gary M. Samuelson) Newsgroups: soc.religion.christian Subject: Re: Husband as leader in marriage Message-ID: Date: 11 Sep 89 05:23:55 GMT Sender: hedrick@athos.rutgers.edu Organization: ISC-Bunker Ramo, an Olivetti Company, Shelton, Ct Lines: 34 Approved: christian@aramis.rutgers.edu In article cvl!cvl!umabco!mmcdanie@uunet.uu.net (Molly McDaniel) writes: >I have a question: what if you're married and don't respect your husband? >What then? How can you work at respecting someone? Don't they have to >earn that respect? My interpretation of scripture is that each individual is obliged to do the right thing, even if no one else responds by also doing the right thing. For example, you should give to those who cannot give back, so that the Lord will repay you, and not the recipients (Luke 14:12ff). Husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. This command is not contingent on anything which is under the control of the wife. Similarly, wives are commanded to respect their husbands. This command is likewise not contingent on anything which is under the control of the husband. (Jesus never said it would easy.) If you feel that your husband is not worthy of respect, what you need to do is to look harder for some characteristic which is respectable. There must be something about him which is respectable; concentrate on those things. "Whatsoever is pure, whatsoever is honorable... think on these things." Sinners need salvation, even though by definition they don't deserve it. Men need respect, even if they don't deserve it. They probably need it even more when they don't deserve it, because they know they don't deserve it, and therefore don't have self-respect, either. Gary Samuelson