Path: utzoo!attcan!utgpu!jarvis.csri.toronto.edu!rutgers!aramis.rutgers.edu!athos.rutgers.edu!christian From: TTAERUM@ualtavm.bitnet Newsgroups: soc.religion.christian Subject: Re: Husband as leader in marriage Message-ID: Date: 11 Sep 89 05:24:15 GMT Sender: hedrick@athos.rutgers.edu Lines: 37 Approved: christian@aramis.rutgers.edu > article , cvl!cvl!umabco!mmcdani > >I have a question: what if you're married and don't respect your husband? >What then? How can you work at respecting someone? Don't they have to >earn that respect? >Molly McDaniel Its a four way street. Both husband and wife need to earn respect and both need to figure out ways to respect the other person. To earn respect I use words like: "You're right and I'm wrong." "I really botched that up didn't I, will you forgive me?" "That is certainly a good idea, I wish I had thought of it." To earn respect I: "Try to remember important dates (such as an anniversary) and make them memorable". "Do a job that is normally under my wife's jurisdiction (in our family one of them is making supper)." To learn to respect my wife more I: "Remember the things that she is better at than I am." - Her verbal skills are better than mine. - She get's along with people better than I do. - She is more intelligent than I am in money matters. - She has better memory for names than I do. - ... ... ... If a person can't think of things that their mate is better at, then problem is not with the mate, the problem is we are dealing with an egotistical maniac. Finally, there are those areas of irritation between people which a person gives over to Jesus Christ. So far I have been unsuccessful at making major renovations to my own character so why I should be successful at changing another person's character would be a mystery. Terry Taerum