Path: utzoo!utgpu!watserv1!watmath!looking!funny
From: funny-request@looking.on.ca (Brad Templeton)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: Guidelines for Submissions -- Monthly Posting
Keywords: monthly administrivia
Message-ID: <55953@looking.on.ca>
Date: 3 Dec 89 11:35:01 GMT
Sender: funny@looking.on.ca
Followup-To: rec.humor.d
Lines: 159
Approved: funny@looking.on.ca


			   Rec.Humor.Funny
			Rules for Submitters

		READ THIS IF YOU PLAN TO SUBMIT A JOKE
			    (I mean it)

If you plan to submit material for rec.humor.funny, I ask you to follow
the set of guidelines detailed below.  Some of these may seem contrived
and arbitrary, and some exist simply to make my life a little easier.
The principle behind this is simple -- if you violate one of my pet
peeves in your submission, I'm going to go into your joke already biased
against it.  As objective as I try to be, that makes it less likely I
will accept the joke.

o) Give your jokes a meaningful Subject line.  So many people send
me submissions entitled "joke" -- as if I were expecting something else.
I want a subject line that I can use as the title for your joke.  Something
that will distinguish it from all the other jokes in the group.  Don't spoil
the joke, of course.

o) Only put one joke per submission.  I rate all the jokes, and it's hard to
rate a group of jokes as they will be sure to vary.  If you send me a
group of jokes, I will often just take the best one.

o) Attribute the source of your joke.  Tell me anything you know.
If it's one line from a comedian's routine, name the comedian.  If you
heard it from your brother, say that.  If you wrote it yourself, definitely
say so, as I will give it preferential treatment.  (I know nobody's
heard it.)

o) Don't send entire copyrighted works.  Excerpts are OK, if they take the
form of news, or a review of the work.  A single line from a show, movie
or routine (with attribution) is OK, but not a large collection or verbatim
transcript.  Don't send me professional columns like Dave Barry's.  I just
can't send these out without permission.

o) If you see a copyrighted work you would like to submit, call and
ask the copyright holder.  You will be surprised -- many are glad to
see a reprint with proper credit.   Try it!

o) Don't submit other people's postings (unless they were posted from the
USA before April 1, 1989 without a copyright notice.)  Instead, if you
see a posting in a non-humour group that you think would still be very
funny when taken completely out of context, mail the poster and encourage
him or her to submit it to rec.humor.funny.  Mention the RHF policy sheet
to them when you send this note of encouragement.

o) Proofread and spell-check your jokes.  It's amazing how bad the
submissions I get are in this department.  You're writing for tens of
thousands of people.  That's more people than would read a typical letter
to the editor of a large daily newspaper.  Don't look like an idiot in print.

o) Punctuate quotations properly.  Follow the typographer's rule that periods
and commas ALWAYS go inside closing quotes.  Here are some examples of how
to do quoting:

	He said, "The best things in life are disgusting," and then
	went home.

	"You aren't a string, are you?" he asked.  (Note no comma)

	She yelled at the umpire, "Your mother was an anti-Christ!"


o) Break paragraphs with a blank line.  This will help me a lot when I
typeset next year's annual.  In general, format your jokes the way you
might see them in a nice joke book.  Don't hyphenate from one line to
the next.

o) Don't right justify your text.  Right justified monospaced
text is actually *harder* to read on a CRT screen than plain
old, ragged-right text.  If you use a formatter, use a 50 column
line width.

o) Wait for my reply.  I reply to all submissions, with either a yes or
a no.  If you are accepted, your joke will be queued and will go out
in the next several weeks.  Topical jokes go out faster.  Some replies
don't make it due to bad mailers, I'm afraid.  Please don't post the
joke to rec.humor until you have received a rejection, as it makes me
look like I'm duplicating.

o) If I reply to your joke, and you want to respond, you must include
a description of the joke in your response.  Remember that I send out
around 20 rejection notices a day, and when I get your reply back, I
won't have the faintest idea which of many jokes you're talking about.
In general, only reply if you must, but if you don't include the context,
I will just say, "huh?"

o) Keep a short signature, with just your name and location.  If you
add extra, I just have to delete it.  So there.

o) Mail jokes instead of posting them to the group in the hope that the
automatic forwarding software will mail the joke to me.  It doesn't always
work, and I often can't reply to submissions posted that way, so you will
wonder what went on.  Mail to funny@looking.on.ca.  Comments and questions
(not submissions) go to funny-request@looking.on.ca.  NOTHING related to
the newsgroup should go to my personal mailbox, brad@looking, unless I
mail you a question from that account.  Jokes sent to my personal mailbox
get rejected unless they're the best joke of the year.

o) If your joke is topical -- based on current events, and needs faster
processing, mail it to topical@looking.on.ca.  Don't mail non-topical jokes
there in the hope that they will be looked at faster, I will throw them
away or delay them further.

o) Don't put form feeds in jokes.  Warning people that a punchline is coming
is a good way to spoil it for them.

o) I give a very low rating to puns.  I only accept puns that have some
humour to them beyond the pun.  Make that a *lot* of humour to them
beyond the pun.

o) Collection jokes like light bulb jokes, JAP jokes, WASP jokes, "do its,"
bumper stickers, T-shirts, licence plates, Tom swifties etc. should go
to the collectors who reside in rec.humor.  Rarely, I will post particularly
funny or original ones that I know are not in the collections.

o) Try not to send me too many duplicates.  If you send me stuff
that's in the rec.humor.funny annual jokebooks, you'll just get back
an ad telling you to buy the jokebooks so I don't get burdened with
lots of duplicates.

o) If I reject your joke, keep trying.  Most people get rejections, and even
the people you see who have been published multiple times get lots of
rejections.

o) I'm human.  I do make mistakes from time to time, and going over thousands
of jokes as I do, that adds up to more often than I would like.  I forget
to rotate some offensive jokes, and I make editing mistakes, too.  Just
because you knew a joke or didn't find one funny doesn't mean that a lot
of people didn't enjoy it.  If you must complain, and some people must,
remember that while you're typing your complaint on a computer, you're
sending it to a human being.

			Written Humour

Remember most of all that you're submitting written humour.  That's
a lot different from spoken humour, standup comedy, situational
humour, improvised humour and stories where "you had to be there."

Written humour is perhaps the toughest form.  You don't get the
advantage of delivery, surprise or a funny face.  You don't get a
drunk audience (usually) or a chance to use your great German
accent.  You must prepare a joke that stands on its own.

Worst of all, the person reading the joke is *expecting* a joke,
and that takes out the surprise, one of the most important elements
in comedy.

When you submit a joke, try to make it work well as written humour.
I reject a lot of stuff that was much funnier when done or said. 95%
of standup comedy doesn't work as written humour.  Bumper stickers are
funny when you see them on a car on a highway, but less so in a book.
T-shirt sayings are great on a T-shirt.

Some jokes can be translated if you're careful.  But if you submit
something from a non-written medium, don't be too surprised if it
doesn't make it.


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