Path: utzoo!utgpu!jarvis.csri.toronto.edu!rutgers!ucsd!usc!henry.jpl.nasa.gov!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!aero!era1987@violet.Berkeley.EDU
From: era1987@violet.Berkeley.EDU
Newsgroups: soc.feminism
Subject: Re: How feminism has failed me
Summary: No it hasn't.
Message-ID: <1989Nov25.065615.17043@agate.berkeley.edu>
Date: 25 Nov 89 06:56:15 GMT
References: <48390@bbn.COM>
Sender: nadel@aerospace.aero.org
Reply-To: era1987@violet.Berkeley.EDU (Mark Ethan Smith)
Organization: University of California, Berkeley
Lines: 36
Approved: nadel@aerospace.aero.org
Status: R

In reply to <48390@bbn.COM> eboneste@BBN.COM (Liz Bonesteel):

Feminism hasn't failed you, Liz.  As a professional woman who
wants a family, feminism has given you much greater opportunities
than your foremothers ever dreamed of.  As an optimist, you probably
assume that your marriage won't be one of the 50% than end in
divorce.  But if it does, your standard of living may drop but you
won't be left in the dire straits of most divorcees before you, thanks
to feminism.  

Of the 50% of marriages that *don't* end in divorce, do you know
how many couples who hate each other, fight constantly, and leave
their children with lifelong emotional scars, stay together because
the traditional wife can't afford to leave and doesn't know how
to go about working?  And how many wives endure battering for
years because they blame themselves for not pleasing their
husbands properly or believe that divorce is a sin?

If you want to get married and raise a family, Liz, thanks to
feminism I don't have to worry as much about your survival as
previously.  Moreover, within the marriage you'll probably be
treated more as an equal partner than as a chattel because you've
already proved yourself in the outside world and your husband will
know that if you become a dependant it is through choice rather
than necessity.

Spend a few years living with married women in countries where
feminism hasn't yet become a powerful movement and then tell
me  that feminism has failed you.  Watch them have 15 kids, half
the kids die, be unable to work, have husbands who spend their
money on drink and other women, etc., etc., and then tell me that
feminism has failed you.  Feminism hasn't taken away your right
to be a traditional woman, it has just made it more possible for
you to survive such a choice.

--Mark


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