Path: utzoo!utgpu!jarvis.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!uwm.edu!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!usc!apple!bbn!granite!mwolf
From: mwolf@granite.cr.bull.com (Mary-Anne Wolf)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: A lurker with a problem
Message-ID: <1990Jan18.145131.10924@granite.cr.bull.com>
Date: 18 Jan 90 14:51:31 GMT
References: <20940028@hplred.HP.COM> <427@unicorn.WWU.EDU>
Reply-To: mwolf@granite.cr.bull.com (Mary-Anne Wolf)
Organization: Bull HN Information Systems Inc.
Lines: 36

A female voice comes from the vicinity of the ceiling.

"Welcome centaur.  I'm glad that you overcame your usual shyness enough 
 to share your problem with us.  It is a problematic question as to how
 far an employer can interfere with your personal life.  There are
 horror stories of IBM employees who were fired when they started to
 date technically trained people from other computer companies.
 I absolutely support what I understand to be your decision that 
 your SO is more important than this job.  If it were me, I would 
 have decided the same.   It is frustrating and unfair that you 
 possibly cannot have both.  It makes a difference when your employer 
 is providing you with a place to live, and it is quite possible that 
 the employer is telling the truth about the opinion of the clientel.
 If the employer is providing the apartment to you, then they ARE
 entitled to specify that they WON'T provide it to your SO as well.
 There are a couple of options.  One is for you and your SO to either
 GET legally married or to PERSUADE the emplpyer that you are.  A
 pair of friends of mine lied to their landlord about whether they
 were married.  If a similar situation were to arise, lieing about 
 your marital status might be called for.  A less drastic solution 
 is for YOU to be the only one who OFFICIALLY lives in the apartment, 
 but for your SO to be a permanent live-in guest.  Another option is 
 to decide that an employer who is so restrictive is NOT worth it, 
 and to find another job.  It depends on what your other options 
 are.

 You have good reason to feel frustrated.

 Hope this helps."

 Mary-Anne
 mwolf@pws.bull.com (or mwolf@granite.cr.bull.com)
 "It is so clear.  You were meant to be here...from the beginning."


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