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From: jason@hpcndm.CND.HP.COM (Jason Zions)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: The Woman Beside
Message-ID: <125990004@hpcndm.CND.HP.COM>
Date: 18 Jan 90 01:56:53 GMT
References: <9001151717.AA03010@fsdcupt.csd.mot.COM>
Organization: HP Colorado Networks Division
Lines: 104

As Jilara winds down her description of The Woman Beside, Jazz levers
himself out of his chair and begins to walk slowly across the room.

"That's a rather interesting metaphor; I haven't heard it put that way
before. I could carp a bit about it being male-centered, but the societies
most of us live our day-to-day lives in are male-centric, to my dismay.

"You say you are a Woman Who Rides Beside:"

	I have my own quest, even as they.  Because of that, I will
	probably never share someone's life, because I cannot surrender my
	own dreams for those of another.  I know what society expects of
	women, and know I cannot meet that expectation.  But I can share
	thoughts, and dreams, and keep people going, and offer insights
	into maintaining their relationships with the women in their lives.
	And maybe, ultimately, I am richer.

"It appears to me that you place a constraint upon yourself. Just as there
are women who choose to follow their own path, there are men who choose not
to follow their own; instead, to ride ahead of or behind their woman. There
may not be many of these today. I suspect that, as many women who see
themselves as forced to ride behind chafe at their limits, there may be men
who truly have little vision of their Path, or lack strength to blaze that
Path they see; there may be men, in fact, who see their Path as riding
behind their chosen companions, nurturing and caring for their partners in
pursuit of a greater Path."

By this point Jazz has crossed the room once and has returned to one side
of the fireplace, leaning his backside against the wall, his upper body
leaning forward, looking directly at Jilara. You sort of get the feeling
that, when he is a bit wound up, tying his hands to his sides would render
him speechless.

"Could you ride with such a man? Would you accept one as a partner, accept
the nurturing and care-taking he chooses to provide you with as you pursue
your Path? If you can, if such behavior falls within the scope of what you
desire, then there is a way in which you can share a life together.

"From the way you speak, though, I would guess not. I don't remember who
first said it, but the line comes to mind: ``Two people sharing a life?
Seems to me like that's two people each living half a life.'' I personally
agree with that; two individuals cannot share a single life."

He shakes his head a little, straightens up and starts to walk slowly
towards Jilara.

"Just as, I suspect, you would not want a man to ride behind, and would
rather he ride beside - do you not believe there are men looking for such a
woman to ride beside? Each with a separate Vision, Destiny, Path; but each
providing care, nurturing, strength, support, being"

	the ones who understand when they speak to us of the goals and
	dreams, mother-hen and mother-confessor, battle-comrade and
	companion of the road.

"Yes, there must be common or parallel components to the Path, or riding
beside is impossible. There must be compatibility in Vision, or realizing
the Vision becomes impossible for one without blinding the other. These are
not simple things, and it's probable that many partners who seem likely
would cause conflict in the long run because of this."

His voice grows more intent. Across two tables and ten feet, he locks eyes
with Jilara. "But it is possible. Part of the task may be maintaining
sufficient flexibility in outlook, in the eyes you use to enVision;
permitting your partner and yourself to evolve, together, a more closely
aligned pair of Visions, a more co-linear Path.

"We only need a single eye to see; one source of information to give us
vision. But that vision is flat, limited. A second eye, a second viewpoint,
slightly different from the first, moved a little off to one side, perhaps
of a different color or with differing faults, gives us true sight: solid,
more intense, wider and farther in perception."

Jazz pauses a few seconds, blinks, and starts to walk again. "I don't mean
to imply that a Vision is necessarily limited because it is pursued by a
single person, alone. But it is true that more hands make light work, when
the task is shared; more eyes looking in the same direction increase the
strength and clarity of the view.

"Jilara, you remind us that ``[t]here are prices for everything.'' What I
suggest is subject to that. It means trading in two horses for a set of
Siamese twin horses, joined in such a way that they can be separated for a
time and function adequately, but when together can run farther, faster,
longer, than any two horses carrying two people together. Economies of
scale, if you will." At that, a rather disgusted image crosses his face.

"I think the Siamese Horse image is a good indication I've rambled on too
long; I probably need to rein in my imagination, saddle myself for a bit;
besides, it's 6:45 PM and time to put the feedbag on.

"But think about it, Jilara; as much as you refuse to give up your dream,
any partner worth having would be just as unwilling to give up his or hers.
There is a way to keep both sets of dreams and yet still share lives."

By this time Jazz has managed to find the corner of the room where his
stuff was piled up. He snags his coat and shoulder bag, leaving a pair of
saxophones (didn't he walk in with only one? Aw, never mind!) and a small
stack of trade rags on the table.

"I'm gonna take a walk over to that Chinese place about a mile and a half
up the road - anyone wanna split some Garlic Chicken and Mo Shu Pork? Oh,
yeah, Mike, can I bring you anything back..."

Jazz