Path: utzoo!utgpu!jarvis.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!uwm.edu!rpi!crdgw1!sixhub!davidsen
From: davidsen@sixhub.UUCP (Wm E. Davidsen Jr)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: The Woman Beside
Message-ID: <419@sixhub.UUCP>
Date: 20 Jan 90 00:17:59 GMT
References: <9001151717.AA03010@fsdcupt.csd.mot.COM> <9060008@hpfcso.HP.COM> <1990Jan19.160031.19228@granite.cr.bull.com>
Reply-To: davidsen@sixhub.UUCP (bill davidsen)
Organization: *IX Public Access UNIX, Schenectady NY
Lines: 33

In article <1990Jan19.160031.19228@granite.cr.bull.com> mandel@granite.cr.bull.com (Mark Mandel) writes:

| My lady and I don't expect 100% compatibility.  (Also remember what
| Janelle said about compatibility; net timewarps being what they are,
| you may be reading this before you read her observations.)  But being
| together, with its compromises, disagreements, and choices, is much,
| much better for both of us than being alone.  We lean on each other.
| We enrich each other.

  Amen. My wife and I have finally worked out how to live together with
minimal friction and maximal enjoyment. We each have our own interests
and pleasures, and while I take pleasure for her when she does well at
something, and she takes pleasure in my successes, we each do things
which don't involve the other. 

  That leaves us time to do the things together which we both enjoy.
Since we both pursue things which don't interest the other, neither of
us is "dragged along" to activities we dislike. One less source of
disagreement. Because our schedules only leave us a limited time to be
physically together, we concentrate on finding things to do with that
time, to make it "quality time."

  Finally, we compromise on things which are areas of disagreement.
Neither of us tries to make the other into a different person (any
more). This takes committment to making things work, to agreeing on a
compromise and having both people abide with it instead of trying to
renegotiate. This is the secret, because a compromise only works if you
make it, live by it, and then stop fighting about it.
-- 
	bill davidsen - sysop *IX BBS and Public Access UNIX
davidsen@sixhub.uucp		...!uunet!crdgw1!sixhub!davidsen

"Getting old is bad, but it beats the hell out of the alternative" -anon