Path: utzoo!utgpu!jarvis.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!usc!apple!sun-barr!newstop!sun!literate!jlp
From: jlp%literate@Sun.COM (Jayna Pike)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.dave_barry
Subject: Dave Barry
Keywords: excerpt
Message-ID: <130521@sun.Eng.Sun.COM>
Date: 20 Jan 90 03:47:29 GMT
Sender: news@sun.Eng.Sun.COM
Lines: 63

In response to the question: Who is Dave Barry, and how does he rate a
newsgroup:

Dave Barry is a syndicated columnist.  I believe he lives and works in
Florida.  Many newspapers nationwide publish his column.  He's pretty
hilarious, although his humor does have its ups and downs.

I don't know who started this newsgroup, but I think it's a great idea.

To tell you about his writing just wouldn't serve, so I'll post an excerpt
from a column so that you get the general idea, if you haven't had the treat
of reading his stuff.

To wit:



                         Styling has Hairy Implications

                                 by Dave Barry


                     [The San Diego Union, April 22, 1989]
          [Copyright Knight-Ridder News Service - without permission]


          I  think we need some kind of public-service  advertising  cam-
       paign  to  remind the public of the dangers of operating  a  motor
       vehicle while under the influence of a new hairstyle.  I  realized
       this  while  I  was driving to work this morning and  many  of  my
       fellow  commuters were honking at me and making digital  gestures,
       which  frankly  I deserved, because I was dividing  up  my  mental
       capacities as follows:

          *Watching where I was going* -- 4 percent.

          *Checking my hairstyle in the rear-view mirror* -- 96 percent.

          So I apologize to you fellow commuters, especially whoever  was
       driving  the BMW that wound up in the river, but I had no  choice.
       I  have to monitor my new hairstyle at all times to make sure  the
       gel is holding.  I never had gel in my hair before.  I never  even
       really  had a hairstyle before.  For 41 years I have gone  with  a
       very natural hair "look" that was originally popularized by  coco-
       nuts,  wherein  you  have extremely straight strands  of  hair  or
       coconut fiber radiating from a central point on top of the head or
       coconut,  proceeding downward via the most direct  possible  route
       and forming themselves into "bangs."
 
          The  thing about bangs is, they are not a  grown-up  hairstyle.
       They  do  not inspire respect in people.  There has never  been  a
       United  States  president with bangs.  If passengers  boarding  an
       airplane  were  to glance into the cockpit and see  a  pilot  with
       bangs,  they  would  injure themselves diving  out  the  emergency
       exits.   They want a guy like Chuck Yeager, a guy who is not  even
       *capable* of bangs.
 
****
 
That's all for now.  I'm feeling guilty about reprinting this stuff, what
with copyright laws and all.  I'm pretty sure this one is in his latest book.
 
--J.