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From: dalex@eleazar.dartmouth.edu (Dave Alexander)
Newsgroups: soc.singles,alt.flame
Subject: Re: the numbers are dwindling
Message-ID: <18610@dartvax.Dartmouth.EDU>
Date: 18 Jan 90 22:37:04 GMT
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OK, gang, it's time for a reading comprehension drill!


In article <25b529f0:1124soc.singles@tronsbox.UUCP>
          akcs.repairman@tronsbox.UUCP (alan berger) writes:

> In an article in today's(Wednesday) NY Times, one author
> states that according to the Census Bureau there are
> approximately 2.3 more unmarried men in their 20's than
> women in their 20's today.

Excuse me?  2.3 more men than women?  So all we have to do is
send two guys to Antarctica and mop up what's left of the
third and the problem will be solved?

I think the article said 2.3 *million*.  It comes out to 122
men for every 100 women, if that makes it clearer.

> Most of you baby-boomers who are nearing 30 or even 40 are
> even in for more of hard time in finding a suitable mate.
> As your age increases your chances of finding a suitable
> person decreases.

Where does he get those wonderful *conclusions*?

All the numbers presented in the article compare the relative
numbers of single men and women in particular age groups.
You can only use them to reach conclusions about how difficult
it is to find a mate *if* your definition of suitable requires
that you be in the same age group.

And do people look for people their own ages?  You may, but
according to a 1985 survey, two-thirds of all marriages are
between older men and younger women and that the average age
difference is 5.3 years.

Another problem with what you say is that the bar graph in
the article shows that your odds, even within your own age
group, begin to *improve* when you reach thirty.  By the time
you're thirty-five the ratio is better than it ever was and if
you can somehow survive until forty the odds are in your favor
by four to three.

> This is due to the topping out of single females.

What does this mean?  That you can only get single females up
to a certain speed?  That there are single females walking
around on the streets with chocolate sauce on their bodies?
What is this "topping out" phenomenon?

> Formerly single men who were married but for one reason or
> another have gone back to being single and are into their
> late 30's and early 40's are raiding the pot as it were. 

The article said nothing like that.  It said that many women
in their twenties prefer dating older men, but said *nothing*
about preferring older men who have been married to those who
have never been married.

Maybe some of these older guys have things that these women
are looking for.  They have some experience of the world and
a little stability.  They know how to mingle with the upscale
crowd when they're in San Jose.  Maybe they are multiple-
degreed and drive Supras.  Who knows?

Maybe, just maybe, some of the women in your age group don't
like to think of themselves as inhabiting this "pot" of yours.
Maybe they don't see their love lives in terms of whether you
stick your fork in to claim them or whether they will be
"raided" by a dirty old man.

You see, when you call it "raiding," (and when the Times calls
it "poaching"), you make it sound like the women involved have
no say in what happens to them.  Whether they consciously decide
that young men aren't what they're looking for or if they just
happen to be looking for qualities that they can't seem to
find in younger men, what the women want has to be considered too.

> There's also a large increase in younger men marrying older
> women. It seems alot of women are going after an older man
> who's got the money and power that will help to keep them
> warm in their old age. 

This doesn't make sense.  Don't you mean to say that they
are going after *younger* men to keep them warm, etc.?

And who said anything about a *large* increase?  The survey
by the National Center for Health Statistics noted an increase,
but the implication seemed to be that it hadn't made much of
a change in the overall pattern.

And of course that is entirely *your* interpretation of why
some older women are marrying younger men.

I guess that what I really don't like about all this is the
way people show so little faith in themselves when confronted
with statistics like this.  If you have something to recommend
yourself, a personality, self-confidence and competence, a
Porsche, a ten inch dick, or whatever, you will be able to
find a woman who will appreciate your qualities and be willing
to spend some time with you, no matter what the statistics say.

If, however, you're a whining little shit who prefers blaming
your failures on other people, (here it's those *nasty* older
men "raiding the pot"), you're going to spend some time alone
and no statistics ever compiled will save you.


                                 -- Dave Alexander

--
"Money is the root of all evil, and yet it is such a useful
 root that we cannot get on without it any more than we can
 without potatoes."
                                  -- Louisa May Alcott