Xref: utzoo soc.couples:2592 alt.romance:1291 Path: utzoo!utgpu!jarvis.csri.toronto.edu!mailrus!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!snorkelwacker!bloom-beacon!bu.edu!bu-cs!bu-pub!spacey From: spacey@bu-pub.bu.edu (Eva Chan) Newsgroups: soc.couples,alt.romance Subject: Re: open relationships Message-ID: Date: 17 Jan 90 05:22:22 GMT References: <6826@wpi.wpi.edu> Sender: news@bu.edu.bu.edu Followup-To: soc.couples Distribution: usa Organization: Boston University Computer Science Lines: 35 In-reply-to: spudcrl@wpi.wpi.edu's message of 16 Jan 90 21:31:54 GMT Curt, your story sounds familiar to me. Not that I have ever been in such a situation, but I have heard of stories like yours. To me it might be a good idea to "test' the relationship by going out with other people for a while, but if limitations were put, then would that still be considered an open relationship? To me 16 might be a bit young for her, but that is dependent upon her level of maturity. Although it is said that women usually mature more quickly than men, but that is not always true. Six months may seem a long time for the two of you, but think about if you'll ever see one year or more. I have gone out for almost 3 and it still doesnt seem as if it's been that long. I can see from her parent's point of view that she might be a bit young for you, but mothers are usually quite protective of their daughters. My mother was. But overall, I'd think that you should take things slowly and not pressure anything. But what is to say that she isnt going to pressure you? Plus i believe you said that she brought up the idea of seeing other people for a while? Well, i think this is another indicationg that she might not be ready for a long term relationship. In my opinion, many people around her age would most likely like to see other people and get to learn about other people. Let's just say that she probably wants a bit of variety. But I really can not speak for her, so what you might want to do it have a nice long talk about what the two of you want. Sometimes there is a lack of communication in a relationship that might cause it to fizzle. SO, get together and talk. I think that is the best I can do. If it seems kinda confusing, oh well. I was never really good at organizing my thoughts at times. :-) Stream of Consciousness! Good Luck! -- Eva Chan spacey@bu-pub.bu.edu (e-mail is always appreciated) Cheers! And may you enjoy life!