Path: utzoo!utgpu!jarvis.csri.toronto.edu!clyde.concordia.ca!uunet!jarthur!brutus.cs.uiuc.edu!apple!sun-barr!newstop!sun!banzai!buckaroo From: buckaroo%banzai@Sun.COM (Robert R. Cisneros @ The Banzai Institute) Newsgroups: alt.sex Subject: Re: exit Summary: Sold a bill of goods? Message-ID: <130319@sun.Eng.Sun.COM> Date: 16 Jan 90 18:19:04 GMT References: <401.25adfe39@uoft02.utoledo.edu> Sender: news@sun.Eng.Sun.COM Lines: 61 In article <401.25adfe39@uoft02.utoledo.edu>, cswaf@uoft02.utoledo.edu writes: > Hi...this may or may not be the appropriate place to post this, > but I'll give it try... > > I have been involved in a relationship with a man for 5 years now > and have enjoyed it very much, except for the fact that he is married. > I have found myself lately wanting a more involved relationship (i.e. > more than 5-6 hours a week ). I love him very much but he also loves > his wife. We have the greatest sexual relationship and I wish it could > last but I can't emotionally handle more than one relationship.. I like > to devote my time and energy to only one man. Well he says that I am > stupid that sex between two people never lasts very long, that you get > bored or one of the two people loses some of their sexual desire and > so the other person is left wanting more all the time. He says that I > should just face reality and enjoy sex with him and find another man > to fill in the remaining times I need someone for movies, dinners, more > sex etc. He also says that most people don't enjoy sex, and that the fact > that I do and want to experience it to the fullest is going to cause > me problems because I'll find that most men don't put that much importance > on sexual relationships. And he also swears that men hit 40 (he's 44) and > start getting very tired and women do around 35 (I'm 33)... the way > I feel I can't believe I only have two years before I find knitting > more fulfilling ? So any comments? Sorry to include the entire article, but I think that it contains so much revealing material which I should not delete. Woman....., you've been sold a bill of goods. It seems this guy is snowing you with HIS ideas and HIS opinions, and calling them the truth. But the truth is, you're in control of your destiny and you don't have to believe anything he says. There are many people who get involved in, and enjoy monogamous relationships, if that's what they want. Your man, it seems, is trying to brainwash you in order to keep you under his control. This is a tactic often used by some men who manipulate women. Eventually we all get what we deserve. If one feels the he or she deserves to be happy and involved in a caring relationship, one can make it happen. If you feel that you deserve to be taken advatage of, it will happen. As some people grow older, their interest in sex may decline, but there is no specific age, nor is it the destiny of all. If you feel that your appetite for sex is the highest it's ever been, I doubt that it will decline dramatically in two years simply because of your age. It seems that you are looking for a relationship that is balanced between a rich sex life and emotional committment. If you believe in yourself, you will have what you want. -Buck Robert R. Cisneros Sun Microsystems, Inc. Mountain View, CA 94041 H(415)961-7789 W(415)336-4956 Disclaimer: These are my opinions only and are subject to change without notice!