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From: js@phoenix.Princeton.EDU (Jay Sekora)
Newsgroups: alt.sex
Subject: Re: Body count. . .
Message-ID: <12982@phoenix.Princeton.EDU>
Date: 16 Jan 90 23:17:38 GMT
References: <70181@tiger.oxy.edu>
Reply-To: js@phoenix.Princeton.EDU (Jay Sekora)
Organization: Princeton University Computing and Information Technology.
Lines: 56
Disclaimer: Author bears full responsibility for contents.

mortisia@oxy.edu (Lynn Alyn Tanner) writes:

>How does the idea of group marriage strike anyone?

other things being equal, probably a very good way to raise kids.

what did you have in mind; 3-5 people or a Vast Community, \`a la certain
religious sects?

it doesn't strike me very well, 'cause i find the idea of marriage
personally very distasteful, even that far removed from standard
associations and stereotypes.  a group living arrangement that
included sex and emotional intimacy and commitment would be fine,
though, if i (or someone i loved) found other compatible people who i
cared about and respected and was comfortable living with.  however,
the odds of three (or more) people finding each other compatible
enough to live toghether in a romantic relationship are probably
considerably lower than the odds of two people doing so.  (i'm not
sure that parses, but you know what i mean.)  and i guess there would
be the danger that little dissatisfactions (and big ones) would
"resonate" more, and generate more complex patterns of dissatisfaction
than with a couple.

on the other hand, there would also be some nice advantages; i'm
certainly not arguing against the idea.  i'd love to be part of a
warm, loving household with a few lovers and their lovers (tho' of
course in 1990 one would want to be VERY CAREFUL and know exactly who
everyone else was sleeping with, and it would still be riskier...)
where i could feel like there would always be emotional support for me
when i needed it, and where i could feel that other people were
helping me take emotional care of the people i loved and make them
happy.  it could be a really, really amazing thing, given a few people
with the right mindset.

then again, i'm not *entirely* certain i've ever met anyone with
*really* the right mindset.  i think so, but certainly not very many.

my sense (based on just a sort of vague fuzzy idea that this is what i
would come up with if i put a little more brain power into thinking
about it than i have at the moment) is that communal living
arrangements like that (at least small ones--i'm thinking about the
stereotypical handful of hippies who get together cause like love is
groovy and stuff, man, and you know balling is like where it's at when
you dig somebody and they dig you you know) tend to hang together and
be rewarding for a few years and then sort of dissolve, but then
that's what seems to happen to a lot of couples, too, and maybe
there's nothing wrong with that if everybody grows and learns from it.

so is there anything in particular that put that thought into your
head, gWEN?

>Love and cappuccino,
>gWEN

hugs and flowers,
-j.