Path: utzoo!utgpu!jarvis.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!CIS.OHIO-STATE.EDU!davenpor
From: davenpor@CIS.OHIO-STATE.EDU (Jim Bassman Davenport)
Newsgroups: alt.sex
Subject: story error
Message-ID: <9001182012.AA02633@cedar.cis.ohio-state.edu>
Date: 18 Jan 90 20:12:39 GMT
Sender: davenpor@tut.cis.ohio-state.edu
Lines: 140


Can anyone find the error in an otherwise fine piece o' prose?

for help I'm posting a corrected version.

Dancing
Red lips
Short skirt
bump and grind
eyes on me
she's hot
slow song now
she's close
breasts against my chest
arms around me
I feel her back
her arms around my neck
eye to eye
kiss....
	sweet
	soft
	tickle of tongue
	hot breath
she smiles
"I'm hot"
My hands on her skirt
Her buttocks under them
i rub
she pushes against me
"let's go"
we walk out
her car
kiss....
	harder
	more tongue
	panting without stopping
	nips my lip
she smiles
rear door
back seat
I pull her shirt off
on her back
kiss....
	my control
	my tongue
	my breath
she smiles
smooth thighs
my hand moves up
her skirt pushes back
warmth
wet
panties
she reaches for my pants
belt buckle
zipper
pulled down
caress my Hanes
I feel big, long, heavy
panty waistband
past her knees
awkward
adjust ourselves
cool hand on my penis
pulled out of my underwear
closer our bodies
one hook, no bra
full breasts
"Now, do it"
cool fingers pull my organ
hot legs caress my own
push skirt away again
kiss....
	tongues
	cherry lipstick
	smooth chin
	I need a shave
VICTORY
moan
no moves
heat and velvet
hairs mingling
fulfilling...
she thrusts
piston motion
her legs hooked around mine
arms around my back
breasts dance
lip worship them
faster
faster
faster
faster
fas/ clenching
legs tight arms tight velvet tight muscles tensing
no motion
hold the feeling as long as...
release
thrust and pump
four
five
six times
relax
she thrusts again unfulfilled
piston again
try to keep hard
not long
short of breath, gasp, gasp
whimpers with thrust
"yes"
"Yes"
"YES"
very tight arms legs velvet
trembles
relax

fumble for panties
"remembrance"
my pocket
pants
underwear
shirt
bra
windows steamed up.
kiss...
	light
	lips
	soft
	goodbye
out of the car
flips up skirt a moment
bare bottom

I feel lucky for the next guy she dances with.
She goes back into the bar.
I go home.



jim bassman davenport