Path: utzoo!utgpu!jarvis.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!texbell!nuchat!moray!splut!jantor!palace!kyle
From: kyle@palace (Kyle Rhorer)
Newsgroups: alt.sex
Subject: Re: date rape
Message-ID: <23800f351@palace>
Date: 17 Jan 90 18:28:15 GMT
Organization: The Palace BBS - Texas
Lines: 23

> I'm being very careful about my feelings.  The brick wall I barricaded my
> feelings toward her behind in '84 is staying in place.  What concerns me here
> is how to minimize the strain on him, her, and their kids.
> 
> This has been defined as a temporary arrangement while my search for someone
> special to me continues.  They're both actively helping in that search, too.
> 
> With my religious background (I've served on the board of directors of a chur
> once), I'm surprised to find myself in such an arrangement. But if there is n
> concealment and no lies, who is hurt?
 
It sounds to me like you are.  Not through the situation, though, but
rather by the fact that you have your feelings for her pent up behind a
"brick wall" as you say.  I know from experience that that is not healthy.
Also, you say that your main concern is him, her, and the kids.  What
about yourself?!?  If it was me, I would be looking out for myself and
whatever happens with them is for them to deal with.  After all, they are
also consenting (sp?) participants in the relationship{How can you enjoy
a relationship when instead you are always worring about what to
say/not say, do/not do, etc.?  Just be yourself, and if it doesn't work
out that way then it probably would not have lasted very long anyway.
The difference is, you have saved yourself a lot of pain by ending things
early on as opposed to getting in deeper and deeper.