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From: tcourtoi@jarthur.claremont.edu (Todd Courtois)
Newsgroups: alt.sex
Subject: Helping her...
Message-ID: <3838@jarthur.Claremont.EDU>
Date: 19 Jan 90 05:29:19 GMT
Sender: tcourtoi@jarthur.Claremont.EDU
Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA 91711
Lines: 52

Hello there!

     This seems like the appropriate news group to ask this on, so here goes:

     My girlfriend and I have been going out for about two years now, and
we have a fairly serious relationship (translated- we've got marriage on the
brain).  Naturally, I wouldn't be involved with someone this long if I didn't
feel _very_ comfortable with them and if I wasn't sure they felt the same
around me.

     In any case, we've been making love for about a year and a half.  Since
we're rather young (18) we haven't tried _everything_  yet, and we're always
trying new things.

     But it seems there is a problem.  My girlfriend says she enjoys sex 
thoroughly, and yet she has never had an orgasm.   I've heard that there is
nothing unusual about women not having orgasms, that some women _never_ have
orgasms.  But since I love my girlfriend, I naturally want her to enjoy sex
as much as I do, or else there is a certain amount of guilt associated with
having sex.  She says that it doesn't bother her that she doesn't orgasm,
and says I shouldn't feel guilty.  

     Anyway, why am I occuping net space?  Well, I thought this would be the
best place to ask a few questions.

     One of the few things we have not tried is _me_ performing oral sex on
_her_.  We have done the reverse quite often, and she says she enjoys
giving me oral sex since I enjoy it so much.  I _have_ tried during a few of
our lovemaking sessions to give her oral sex, but after a few seconds of 
trying she pulls me away gently and says something like, "No, it's ok."
When I've asked her about out, outside of bed, she has said something like
"It's too messy." and once she mentioned that I "had the wrong idea."  

     Since I've only had sex with this one girl, I don't have any experience
to draw on.  First of all, I'm not sure I'm trying to give her oral sex
"correctly," or in a manner that will stimulate her.  I'd appreciate any
advice anyone has on how to do that properly (e-mail preferred).

     Second, should I try to give her oral sex even though she shows a mild
repulsion to it?  Do any female netters out there feel the same way, or is
it something she'll get over?  Help me out here....

      Finally, any other advice on how I can best stimulate her?  She is
an excellent lover, and I would like to return the favor.  Some things to 
keep in mind when replying: (A) she is MUCH shorter than I am, (B) neither
she nor I are anxious to start with anal sex.

     Thanks for your help.  I'll keep you all posted on the results.

---C. Todd Courtois   

"Reality is less than you could imagine."  ---Me