Path: utzoo!utgpu!jarvis.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!execu!sequoia!attdso!ssc!mcgp1!n7kbt!Anonymous
From: Anonymous@n7kbt.WA.COM (Anonymous Posting Service)
Newsgroups: alt.sex.bondage
Subject: Herite on Shaving
Message-ID: <963@n7kbt.WA.COM>
Date: 16 Jan 90 06:34:37 GMT
Sender: no-name@n7kbt.WA.COM
Reply-To: post-to-asb@n7kbt.WA.COM
Organization: The Kinky Corner
Lines: 60

Razor bumps are just *hell*, ruining those hard-won smooth
testicles, and annoying ones top enormously.  Infected bumps 
are the dread folliculitis barbae!  Chronic infection leads 
to extension of the follicle, which can cause permanent 
bumpiness.  This problem is especially acute for facial and 
pubic hair where the follicles go deep beneath the skin 
(sycosis barbae), and for those with African-pattern tightly 
curled hair, as the stubble tends to turn around and plunge 
back into the skin. 

Cheap, reasonably close, and (for Herite) bump-free shaves 
are obtained with PFB Bump-fighter (tm) disposable safety razors
from American Safety Razor Co.  P.O. Box 500, Staunton VA 24401.
Herite buys his at the chain drug store here in Babylon for a dollar 
apiece.  A PFB is a double-bladed disposable in which the top blade has 
been replaced by a luscious little rake that keeps the blade
gliding along about 0.1 mm above the skin.  Use it two or three
times a week for no itching, and (after a two-week stabilization
period) no folliculitis barbae!  Regular disposable razors give
closer shaves, but there is an ineluctable engineering tradeoff 
between close shaves and bumps.  Herite suggests an extremely dilute
solution of betadine in water as an aftershave the first couple
of weeks one shaves a previously unshaved area, as this seems to prevent 
infected bumps.  Other topical antibiotics such as triple-antibiotic 
cream, don't seem to help much, and they can lead (at least theoretically) 
to overgrowth of Candida in the crotch.  And *nobody* likes a yeastie-beastie.
Betadine is broad-spectrum enough so that yeast shouldn't be a
probelem.  WARNING:  You might be allergic to betadine; test full 
strength on a small area first.  (Comments, Flash Gordon?)

Herite has good results thinning and shortening chest hair with 
barber's shears.  Short chest hair gives a better tan, avoiding 
the Mario Lanza dark-tan-around-dark-hair-over-fish-white-skin look 
so popular at the Cape in August and September.  ("I do so 
luhhhve the Cape in September," said the older, deeply bronzed man in a 
thirty-second degree tidewater accent. "I can think of no place 
else on God's earth where one can so fully flex ones spiritual muscle.") 
With care, a very natural look is achievable, and it lasts a couple
of months.  It itches like crazy for about a week. (Psychosis barbae.)

Be warned, however, that poet J*mes D*ckey uses a hand-stropped straight 
razor, pure castile soap, a brush, and a mug. He says that shaving is the
moment when one is most intimate with oneself -- moreso even than
masturbation.  I have the distinct impression (merely a conjecture, 
regrettably) that the man doesn't shave his testicles.  Poets beware!   
Who knows what effect plastic bump-fighters and thinned chest hair will 
have on your ability to mine the Southern Gothic mother lode.

Oh, yes. Out of solidarity, (Not principle.  Herite has no principles.)  
Herite endorses he Regular(tm) position that one should never read 
anything posted by timorous, know-nothing old aunties who use post-to-asb.

Epicenely (and epimenidously) yours,
Alan Herite

--


To post an article through the anonymous posting service, MAIL your article
to post-to-asb@n7kbt.WA.COM.  Mailed replies will also be posted anonymously.