Path: utzoo!utgpu!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!rutgers!cs.utexas.edu!yale!bunker!hcap!hnews!261!1000!Frank.Whitney From: Frank.Whitney@f1000.n261.z1.fidonet.org (Frank Whitney) Newsgroups: misc.handicap Subject: Re: independence Message-ID: <12220@bunker.UUCP> Date: 5 Jun 90 02:32:07 GMT Sender: wtm@bunker.UUCP Reply-To: Frank.Whitney@f1000.n261.z1.fidonet.org Distribution: misc Organization: FidoNet node 1:261/1000 - Nerve Center, Pikesville MD Lines: 82 Approved: wtm@bunker.UUCP Index Number: 8647 >As I prepared disabled people (before my own accident) for giving >orders to attendants, I suddenly became aware of the enormity of >the task. WOW! >The professional do-gooders in the agencies still seem unaware of >the difficulties. > 1) Clear communication This occurs everywhere. > 2) Naming EVERYTHING in "words". Not even ABs (able-bodieds) > need to do this. It does help and I give a person a written list of whats expected, we then negotiate from there. That way nothing is a surprise. > 3) Dealing with social taboos eg certain types of cleanliness, > and dealing with actions that ABs associate with "adult > love" or "intimacy". What does this mean? > 4) In the morning & late evening, trying to give clear & > explicit instructions, trying to make complex plans. For > everyone, this is very difficult to to be a "boss". People learn at least I did. I don't know bout you. > 5) Supervising, with good and bad feedback to the attendant. > Very difficult for everyone to do, unless they are highly > skilled senior-managers. I've done it for over fifteen years and I'm no senior-manager. > 6) Maintaining "professional distance" between the atendant & > yourself. Usually we disabled people need such intimate & > emotional supports for our private, inner selves. Speak for yourself. My only concern for my attendant is that she's punctual and does her job right. She does both and is compensated well for a job well done. Outside of humanitarian concern I don't care if she lives or dies as long as the job's done. > FW> I tried 3 men all were gay they never harmed me but for > FW> other reasons I had to let them go. > >Now I know why the other senior staff thought I was gay! Only ny >own car accident, resulting in myself becoming disabled, stopped >me from further employment as Personal Attendant to Australia's >most high-powered quadriplegics. Why did they think you were gay? Personal Attendant to Australia's most high-powered quadriplegics. Whose ego's being stroked now? > FW> I've had mixed success with > FW> women when I didn't have good commuication. One of the gay men > FW> ripped me off > >And the women do similar things too. The most common is "sloppy >work", especially in not cleaning where they think you will never >find out, or in using the time that they should be with you, to >do their own personal business. True, I didn't say that. I was only relating what happened to me. At present I have a person for just my morning care. I have other help for other tasks that way the problems are minimized. >In fact, the full range of office politics is usedagainst us >disabled people who personal attendants who are working for us. > This doesn't make sense but what else is new? -- Via Opus Msg Kit v1.01 -- Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!261!1000!Frank.Whitney Internet: Frank.Whitney@f1000.n261.z1.fidonet.org