Path: utzoo!attcan!uunet!wuarchive!usc!apple!oliveb!bunker!wtm From: cas@mtdcb.att.com (Clifford A Stevens, Jr) Newsgroups: misc.handicap Subject: Re: New to this echo... Summary: Answer! Message-ID: <12650@bunker.UUCP> Date: 9 Jul 90 03:53:07 GMT References: <12478@bunker.UUCP> Sender: news@bunker.UUCP Reply-To: cas@mtdcb.att.com (Clifford A Stevens, Jr) Distribution: misc Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories Lines: 65 Approved: wtm@bunker.UUCP Fidonet: Chronic Pain Conference Index Number: 9061 In article <12478@bunker.UUCP>, Liz.Petry@f316.n398.z1.fidonet.org (Liz Petry) writes: > Index Number: 8893 > > The main problem we have been discussing in the CPSG I am in is how > "You look so NORMAL...How can you be in PAIN?" I synpathasize! I don't have this problem, but in my Closed Head Injury support group there are many survivors whose *ONLY* deficet are cognitive deficets. I mean, they look, talk, and move like they're uninjured! So when they fail at something (because of cognitive problems), even people who know they've had a CHI think they're just being stupid! > I am burned out on this.. And, now there is a woman in our group that > will have surgery this October..and body cast and PT..if this doesn't > work..she is considering SUICIDE! Suicide would be really unfortunate, but if she does suicide you have to realize that it wasn't your fault! > There are occasions that I wonder...why did I survive those crashes? > What does God want out of me to keep me around so long? I feel I lived to educate those around me about Closed Head Injuries! So educate us on Chronic Pain! I mean, what causes it? What are the treatments? How bad is the pain? Are there cures? How do you deal w it? > I try to keep > an optimistic attitude as often as possible, but hearing what that > woman said in the group the other day made me freak...she jumped down > my throat and another woman's..all of the time..and I got tired of > it... Well, what I do in similar situations is I say to myself, "Don't be bothered by little things! And this SOB is a little thing!". > SHE MAKES IT AS THOUGH H-E-R PAIN IS THE MOST IMPORTANT It is, but just to her! And you can think of yourself as better than her, because you think there are things more important than your pain! > ..and that NOTHING anyone says or does matters to her. Well, if she really feels that way, then obviously the Support Group doesn't matter, so why does she come? > She won't listen, she > refuses to answer except on her own behalf, and I am sorry, but I have > enough of a time (as do you) trying to deal with our own lives..and to > listen to this "stuff" doesn't help me. But is it hurting you? It sounds like it is, so maybe it's time to find a new group? > This is supposed to be unconditional love... Who says? > but, am I just selfish? Because I have to heal myself FIRST... Well, you don't have to heal others when doing so hurts! > Please give me your insights...anyone else reading this can respond, > also... OK, no charge! (Well, I charge what they're worth!) > I hope you will answer.... OK, I hope it helps you, but doing this stuff is one way I help myself! ------------ Militant Handicapped Survivor! Cliff Stevens MT1E228 att!cbnewsj!ncas (201)957-3902