Path: utzoo!utgpu!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!mailrus!wuarchive!usc!apple!rutgers!aramis.rutgers.edu!athos.rutgers.edu!christian From: max@mthvax.cs.miami.edu (Max Southall) Newsgroups: soc.religion.christian Subject: Re: Sex before marriage question Message-ID: Date: 8 Jul 90 03:45:51 GMT Sender: hedrick@athos.rutgers.edu Organization: /usr/local/lib/news/organisation Lines: 46 Approved: christian@aramis.rutgers.edu Teresa Nicholls asked: >A girlfriend of mine is teaching young people (approx. 11-14,15) in a >Sunday school class. She is a college graduate, and is 23 yrs old, living >on her own. She got into teaching that sex before marriage is wrong, they >were on that particular theme and she got asked if she was a virgin. How >do you think she should have answered the question? She didnt know what to >say and we had different ideas on how she should answer. > - Teresa In response to Teresa's question, the following message has been received from our site in Toronto, from yunexus!mator!bhadland (Bev Hadland) ... Bev is the director of Straight Talk Youth Counselling. SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE In answer to your query ... The Bible says that the truth sets people free. We are told not to lie. If the teacher does not answer the question to which she strongly promotes an ideal to the young people, she will lose their respect and they will think the worse of her past. If she is a virgin, the teacher has nothing to worry about and can encourage those that are still virgins to continue that way. With wisdom and compassion, she can share secondary virginity. If she is not a virgin and preaching that premarital sex is wrong, she definitely should be living that lifestyle now. One can share briefly that they made some mistakes in their past and thank God that He forgives and she can start again. Emphasis should be made that restoration takes time. Forgiveness is instant but the consequences of breaking God's laws can have lifelong ramifications. If she was sexually abused, she can still proudly say that she has never given herself to any man. She may not feel that is the time to talk about the sexual abuse. Saying she never gave herself to a man is not a lie. Sexual abuse is just that....abuse....theft and defraud. >From my personal experiences, one should NEVER preach or teach in an area that has not been worked through in ones own life. That young teacher was asking for it when she took it upon herself to teach chastity. It is natural that young teens will ask her about her life. One only has the RIGHT to teach God's truths to others as we ourselves are willing to live them and testify to His ways. I can talk about chastity to teens because I am willing to share my own pain and also because I am living that kind of lifestyle now. One has to walk the walk if we want to talk the talk. Love Bev