Path: utzoo!utgpu!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!rutgers!aramis.rutgers.edu!athos.rutgers.edu!christian From: mike@turing.cs.unm.edu (Michael I. Bushnell) Newsgroups: soc.religion.christian Subject: Re: Sex before marriage question Message-ID: Date: 8 Jul 90 03:59:27 GMT Sender: hedrick@athos.rutgers.edu Organization: University of No Money, Albuquerque, New Mexico Lines: 61 Approved: christian@aramis.rutgers.edu In article beatle@sentry.larc.nasa.gov (Teresa Nicholls) writes: A girlfriend of mine is teaching young people (approx. 11-14,15) in a Sunday school class. She is a college graduate, and is 23 yrs old, living on her own. She got into teaching that sex before marriage is wrong, they were on that particular theme and she got asked if she was a virgin. How do you think she should have answered the question? She didnt know what to say and we had different ideas on how she should answer. Please reply to me directly, as I dont subscribe to this list. In my humble opinion, she has no business teaching the class if she will not be open and honest about her experience. By bringing up the question of sexual ethics, she is obligated to respect the students enough to answer their questions. If she is going to teach that premarital sex is wrong, then she needs to explain that people can, nontheless, make mistakes. A live person in front of the kids may easily be the best example. If she doesn't believe that premarital sex is actually wrong when it comes to her decisions, then (depending on the attitude of the church in such matters) she should decline to discuss the subject, or teach *her* opinions honestly. People that age need to be treated with respect. If she wants a power kick then she should get out of teaching. She needs to earn her respect, and she will do that by being honest. At this point, she has several options, obviously depending on her virginity: If she is a virgin, she can either state that plainly or resort to the first option below. If she is not a virgin, the following options apply: 1: Refuse to answer the question on the grounds that it is a private matter. Not a good idea. First, the kids will not leave it at that. If she's not a virgin, then she is trying to cover up her mistakes while admonishing others to avoid them. This is unbearably close to hypocracy. If she is a virgin, then she is planting doubts in the kids minds. 2: State she is not a virgin, explain the circumstances of the "transgression", and explain why she feels it is wrong now. 3: Pretend the situation never came up by ignoring further inquiries. When we discuss moral questions, we need to be willing to be frank and honest, *especially with children*. If you cannot bear to look the fool in front of your "inferior" then get out of the business of helping kids grow up. -- Michael I. Bushnell \ This above all; to thine own self be true LIBERTE, EGALITE, FRATERNITE \ And it must follow, as the night the day, mike@unmvax.cs.unm.edu /\ Thou canst not be false to any man. CARPE DIEM / \ Farewell: my blessing season this in thee!