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From: Adrienne.Barhydt@p0.f14.n105.z1.fidonet.org (Adrienne Barhydt)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Changes
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Date: 18 Jul 90 20:56:24 GMT
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>  You won't be alone, and  there are lots of us who can be with 
> you during your trials.  You don't have to do anything, or be 
> anything except yourself.  We care for you just as you are, without 
> conditions.  You make a difference to us. 
 
The trick for me now is to accept myself as I am.  After a lot of 
years of being tough and always figuring out new ways to do things 
I am simply out of energy.  It's time for me to do the grieving for 
what I've lost and figure out what is important and what is not so 
that I can cut out some more things I can no longer do.
 
It all looks so cut and dried and mechanical when I put it down in 
words like this but it's all a boiling pit inside of me.  It 
occurred to me sometime the middle of last night that I need to 
take a look at absolutely everything in the context of my deep down 
most cherished values.  Wow - what a sobering thought.  Typing out 
these words that have only existed in my head before is thoroughly 
freaking me out!  What seems most clear at this moment is that I 
have been living in a self-imposed isolation for a while, slipping 
deeper and deeper into single minded pursuit of some solitary 
hobbies.  I need to change this.  I want to change this.  This 
seems like a place where I can start (in Abled) to do this.  I need 
your help. 

--
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