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From: rh@craycos.com (Robert Herndon)
Newsgroups: comp.arch
Subject: Fish Stew (was spawn/vfork)
Message-ID: <1990Aug2.214621.12596@craycos.com>
Date: 2 Aug 90 21:46:21 GMT
Organization: Cray Computer Corporation
Lines: 52


  Hello, this is John "Bass-o-matic" Apathy, bringing you the
lowlites of the 1990 World Open Fish Stew Competition.
The competition this year is quite fierce, with many groups
submitting tasty variations on traditional recipe favorites
such as mmyoo salad, cash access stew, interconnect chop suey,
and newer time saving recipes such as reduced ingredient soup.
Attendees report of many interesting innovations and new
commercial and research recipes with great potential.

  This years competition has been disturbed, however, by an
altercation between Tria Spawn, a chef from the Institute for
LCD Nutrition, and Letsavy Fork, a researcher at the Institute
for Elegant Eating.

  Fork insists that the traditional utensils for the
consumption of fish stew, forks and knives, and the practice
of tipping the bowl to finish those portions not easily
consumed using a fork are entirely adequate, if not elegant.
Though he regrets the indelicacy of tipping the bowl,
and acknowledges that a concave utensil might alleviate
this, he has been unable to locate engineers capable of
creating such a device, due to limitations in design and
materials.

  Spawn, on the other hand, insists that tipping the bowl
is utterly unnatural, that his new utensil with a concave
surface is required for any sort of practical nutrition,
and that the fork and knife are entirely inadequate.  Towards
this end, he insists that all passers by taste his tantalizing
stew with one of his "spawns".

  While attempting to consume some of Spawn's stew, Fork
seriously cut his lip on the sharp protuberances on the
prototype spawn, and was doubly insulted to find that the
stew had leaked out through the holes in the bottom of the
spawn, staining his suit.

  Spawn responded ungraciously to Fork, claiming that Fork had
held it all wrong, failing to maintain the 31 degree pitch and
the 18 degree roll required for its trap doors to hold fluid.

  A fight broke out shortly after this.  While they were
immediately separated, they have since, however, sullied
the air with epithets at regular intervals, annoying many
of the attendees, who prefer to ignore the utensils issue
altogether, or at least discuss it at the 1990 comp.os forum.
-- 
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