Path: utzoo!utgpu!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!yale!bunker!hcap!hnews!115!778!Martha.Johnson
From: Martha.Johnson@f778.n115.z1.fidonet.org (Martha Johnson)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Newon the net
Message-ID: <13295@bunker.UUCP>
Date: 8 Aug 90 21:04:24 GMT
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Index Number: 9624

I just want to tell you that you're not alone.  I suffer from panic 
attacks voices that tell me to die, and years ago I was told by a state 
shrink, that I was apesamistic cynic.  I have had all the problems for 
over twenty years.  When I was very little I suffered from night terrors 
tothe point where I was almost paralyzed.  I still have them somewhat 
when I take my doggy, Heather.  Some time I am told I shouldn't feel like 
this because I have her and she will protect you.  I forgot to mention 
thatthe voices tell me to die and they also have a very wicked laugh.  To 
me these voices sound like a record say on the speed and slowed down to 
thirty-three.  Because of this depression I don't want to be here on this 
earth.  I do alot of praying.  Tommorrow I am going to have a blood level 
test.  The medicine I am taking is Ludimill.  I'm not sure of the 
spelling.  I am also toldthat I suffer from chemical depression.  Look 
how long it took me to do something about it.  I thought the voices were 
satanic.  Just wondering how could one tell the difference. Enough 
rambling.
Martie

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