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From: Nadine.Thomas@p59.f1.n360.z1.fidonet.org (Nadine Thomas)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Lupus
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Date: 9 Aug 90 19:55:07 GMT
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In a message to Nadine Thomas <27 Jul 90 16:45:00> Rusty Ferguson wrote:

 RF> Part of it is, why should I, I don't have any thing.  Is that
 RF> stupid?  Yes it is.  I am human though and sometimes don't react as
 RF> I should.  I've only really done that one time.  The picnic without
 RF> sunscreen for example.  That would not happen again.  One the other
 RF> hand some things seem to much.  I imagine this computer monitor
 RF> gives of UV light.  I can't see giving up computers and I would feel
 RF> like a fool in a hat.  Maybe I'm a bigger one for not doing so.
 RF> I've done EVERYTHING else they have asked.

No, it is NOT stupid - it is normal.  Part of what you are going
through is the grief cycle.  Denial is one of the phases.  I went
through it too - the more I hurt the more I denied the more I
played softball the more I hurt the more I denied - well, you get
the idea.  When I was ready to stop denying then I was able to
break the cycle.  When the pain becomes greater then the fear of
change you will do something about it.  Seems you have choices
Rusty - you can feel the fool or you can feel better.  You're doing
okay - back off - get off your own back.

 RF> I do that every day in my head.  I know I've got it good.  Compared
 RF> to most of the people in this echo I'm barely sick I'm well aware of
 RF> that.  I don't feel disabled (I just don't know what other word to
 RF> use).  Maybe I don't belong here.  I may
 RF> go to read only mode for a while.

No! You don't compare yourself to others - what you have is YOURS.
It is just as important as everyone elses.  When you start
comparing you will get yourself in very deep do do.  Yes, you do
belong here but if what you feel comfortable doing is just reading
for a while then honor that.  When I talk about a gratitude list I
talk about things like your wife and kids, a roof over your head,
food on the table, etc.

Nadine

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