Path: utzoo!utgpu!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!uunet!ora!ora!daemon
From: twain@blake.acs.washington.edu (Barbara Hlavin)
Newsgroups: soc.feminism
Subject: Re: Name Change Upon Marriage?
Keywords: marriage names
Message-ID: <6407@milton.u.washington.edu>
Date: 16 Aug 90 18:14:00 GMT
References: <1157@tahoma.UUCP>
Sender: ambar@ora.com (Jean Marie Diaz)
Organization: University of Washington, Seattle
Lines: 40
Approved: ambar@ora.com

In article <1157@tahoma.UUCP> bcstec!tahoma!kgf2173@uunet.uu.net (Kerry G. Forschler) writes:
>I'm interested in women's opinions about changing names when they
>are married.  
>[...]
>It seems to me (a male) that changing your name shows belonging/
>/allegiance/ownership/subservience/possession/etc (you pick the
>word) to your husband.  How do you see it?

I did not change my name when I married, nor would I change it if 
I married again.  I identify very strongly with my name; in some sense
it seems to represent who I am:  I AM Barbara Hlavin.  I don't know who
Barbara Somebodyelse is.  And as a writer I find names and naming very 
powerful stuff.  

I also find the practice objectionable for all the (good) reasons you 
list above.

A related anecdote:  I married in 1980, and the following year we filed
a joint income tax form.  For various reasons our taxes were complicated
that first year, so we went to H&R Block.  The CPA who did our return
was very hostile to me; apparently he disapproved of the fact that I 
had not taken my husband's name, and he filled out the form listing 
me, incorrectly, as Barbara [former husband's last name].  I pointed
out that this was wrong.  He refused to look at me and didn't answer 
me.  I said, "Look:  there is no such person as Barbara [blank].  There
is no such legal entity with that Social Security number."

He lifted his head, fixed me with a glare of loathing, and snarled, 
"IT DOESN'T MATTER."

"CHANGE THE NAME," said my husband, and the Q-tip did.  I couldn't help
but feel he was making the point that he was not about to do what a 
WOMAN told him to do.

--Barbara

--
Barbara Hlavin				Oh I am a cat that likes to
twain@blake.acs.washington.edu		Gallop about doing good.
U. Washington AI-10/Seattle 98195	-Stevie Smith, The Galloping Cat