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From: leesa@frith.egr.msu.EDU (Anita Lees)
Newsgroups: soc.feminism
Subject: Re: Name Change Upon Marriage?
Keywords: marriage names
Message-ID: <1990Aug18.195929.24104@msuinfo.cl.msu.edu>
Date: 19 Aug 90 20:11:11 GMT
References: <1157@tahoma.UUCP>
Organization: Michigan State University
Lines: 59
Approved: tittle@ics.uci.edu
Nntp-Posting-Host: zola.ics.uci.edu

In article <1157@tahoma.UUCP> bcstec!tahoma!kgf2173@uunet.uu.net (Kerry G. Forschler) writes:
>I'm interested in women's opinions about changing names when they
>are married.
>
 [stuff deleted]
>
>How do you women feel about changing your name when you're married?
>
I didn't care that much for my "maiden" name, 'Follis'.  I liked my
husband's name, 'Lees'.  I welcomed the opportunity to get a nicer name.
I didn't think it was any worse taking my spouse's last name than to
wear my father's name.

>What sort of frustrations has it caused you?
>
None, really.  I had to change my name at the registrar's office at UM,
and for a brief time there were 3 of me at two addresses :-), but that
was minor.

>It seems to me (a male) that changing your name shows belonging/
>/allegiance/ownership/subservience/possession/etc (you pick the
>word) to your husband.  How do you see it?
>
Yes, but as I stated above, I didn't prefer my father's name.  For me,
"allegiance" is the description I choose.  I don't like the word
"husband", BTW.  It originally meant that he took you in as chattel,
like the cows and chickens.  Spouse is nicer, and gender neutral.

>BTW, yes, I'm married.  Almost 20 years ago, my wife changed her
>name to mine.  We've talked about this several times and she
>says she probably wouldn't do it again.  For some of those 20 years,
>I've thought that I might have changed my name to be hyphenated
>with hers, if I'd been more liberated at the time.  But when I see
>the frustrations it causes, I beginning to think that it might be
>an out of date custom.
>
I got married 10 years ago.  I considered hyphenation, but decided to
make my "maiden" name into my new middle name instead: thus,

	Anita Jean Follis ---> Anita Follis Lees.

All I had to do was present my marriage license to the Secretary of
State, and (I think) testify or sign that I had no fraudulent intent.

I saw an article (forgot where) that if the couple hyphenated their
names, with the womyn's first, then the children could keep the male and
female name lines going when they married.  For example,

		Mary Smith    +    Joe Jones
   -->		Mary Smith-Jones   Joe Smith-Jones
		       		\  /
    Larry Steel + Ann Smith-Jones    Jim Smith-Jones  + Jan Baker
--> Larry & Ann Smith-Steel          Jim & Jan Baker-Jones

Well, this is nifty... but a real headache at the family reunions! :-)

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Anita Follis Lees                              leesa@frith.msu.egr.edu
================= no one else would WANT my opinions =================