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From: hars@pws.bull.com (Adele Hars)
Newsgroups: soc.feminism
Subject: Re: Name Change Upon Marriage?
Summary: Keep your name, but be prepared
Keywords: marriage names
Message-ID: <15382@know.pws.bull.com>
Date: 20 Aug 90 21:23:41 GMT
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Status: R



I'm also a writer, and also kept my name when I married, and also had trouble
with the IRS about it.  But I would absolutely do it again and recommend it
to anyone interested in perserving their identity after marriage.

A few observations:

1. If you plan to keep your name, tell your husband-to-be very gently, and be
prepared to stick to your guns.  Many men seem to put a very high value on
Mrs. John Smith, and are hurt when the wife-to-be objects.  Eventually, though,
he'll understand (assuming you're going into a good marriage).

2. If it makes him feel better, make dinner reservations in his name.

3. Be aware that older relatives may not accept it 

4. Be prepared to explain your name is X and his name is Y to everyone 
from the Sears repair person to people at cocktail parties

A question -- what do you name your kids?  I favor hypenation, but in a few
generations, that could get a little long...  any thoughts?  Maybe they'll
just work it out.

	- Adele Hars