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From: judyd%wizard.cna.tek.com@RELAY.CS.NET (Judy E. Drake)
Newsgroups: soc.feminism
Subject: Re: Name Change Upon Marriage?
Keywords: marriage names
Message-ID: <6179@tekred.CNA.TEK.COM>
Date: 22 Aug 90 16:32:39 GMT
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In article <1157@tahoma.UUCP> bcstec!tahoma!kgf2173@uunet.uu.net (Kerry G. Forschler) writes:
>How do you women feel about changing your name when you're married?

I didn't change my name when I got married, four years ago, for all
the reasons that have been discussed in this thread.  My husband
preferred that I keep my own name as well.

However, I _did_ feel that I had the choice.  If I had liked his
name better than mine, I might have changed my name.  His name is
Hill.  If my name had been Butz, or Pigg, or Zwartverwer, I
might have welcomed a chance to change it to Hill.  (Of course, 
he also could change his name to mine, if he wanted.)

>What sort of frustrations has it caused you? 

None.  We own two cars together, we've bought two houses, 
we have a child, we own a business together, we have joint
credit cards and bank accounts, and we pay taxes together.  
We've never had the slightest problem with having 
different names.  It seems to me that so many combinations
of people can have joint possessions and finances that all
these bureaucracies are set up to deal with affiliations
between people who have different last names.  It's really a 
trivial issue.  Whenever we've applied for a mortgage or 
bought a car, or had our child, the people doing the paperwork 
never have asked or appeared to care whether we were married.  

There have been some small frustrations for me, when individuals
or organizations assume that my husband is "the head of the
household."  (What an antiquated idea!)  But I think those
frustrations would have occurred whether or not I had changed
my name.

I get called "Mrs. Hill" once in a while, but not very often.
People usually don't persist in calling me that after I ask to
be called "Judy."  A few times, I've had to explain that I'm
married but have a different last name than my husband.  It's
never fazed anyone.

Judy Drake