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From: stabosz@sun.udel.edu (Rae Stabosz)
Newsgroups: soc.feminism
Subject: Re:  name change
Message-ID: <13659@sun.udel.edu>
Date: 27 Aug 90 20:21:18 GMT
References: <81909@aerospace.AERO.ORG> <2087@idunno.Princeton.EDU>
Sender: ambar@ora.com (Jean Marie Diaz)
Organization: University of Delaware
Lines: 21
Approved: ambar@ora.com

I got married when I was 19.  I went from being Rae D'Orazio to being
Rae Stabosz.  Although the year was 1969, I did not seriously consider
not changing my name.  About a week before my wedding, I had a dream
which consisted solely of me writing on a piece of paper, over and
over again, Rae D'Orazio, Rae D'Orazio, Rae D'Orazio.  I viewed that
as showing that my unconscious at least did not want to change the name.

I've been Rae Stabosz now for most of my adult life (all of it, if you
count adult life as starting at 21.)  Hardly anyone remembers me as Rae
D'Orazio, but many many people know me as Rae Stabosz.  It's been a long
time since I've thought of Stabosz as my husband's name:  Rae Stabosz is
WHO I AM.

If I were to ever marry again, I'd remain Rae Stabosz.  As I said, Rae
Stabosz is WHO I AM in any sense that a name identifies a person.  So
I can see why a woman would definitely not want to change her name.  All
my children are Staboszes, so I haven't had to confront that problem,
but I think it's not as big a problem as it's made out to be by those
who bring it up as the main reason for husband & wife having one name.

Rae