Path: utzoo!utgpu!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!yale!bunker!hcap!hnews!114!15.0!Barbara.Akin
From: Barbara.Akin@p0.f15.n114.z1.fidonet.org (Barbara Akin)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Dating
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Date: 28 Aug 90 00:59:43 GMT
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Reply-To: Barbara.Akin@p0.f15.n114.z1.fidonet.org
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Index Number: 10008

Hi Mark. I have to say, I thought maybe Joe was a little hard on you 
concerning this topic of dating. I don't know how old you are, but I am 
now in my late thirtys, and am single again after my husband left 3 
years ago. I have partisipated in a couple of really good support groups 
for persons who've gone through this, and one of the topics ofcourse, 
was when to date again and Where to find the kind of people you would 
like to date.
I am the only disabled woman in these groups, and the non-disabled 
people have a hard time finding really quality people to go out with. 
So, I disagree with Joe as far as totally ignoring the posibility of 
using a dating service. But, beware, I think most of them are real 
rackets, and they are out to take advantage of people's lonliness and 
get their money. However, there are some that are legitimate. One 
service I have heard of is one called People Net, run by a disabled guy, 
Robert Morrow, that is supposed to be rather good. Robert is truly 
interested in helping to bring people together with one another, I'll 
try and dig up the number for you. I agree with Joe though when he says, 
look around, ask girls from where you work, etc. 
Personally, I try to let my disability fade into the back ground, and 
people will be focusing on who I am rather than the disability.
Another disagreement I have with Joe is his saying that 99 percent of 
the dating population is looking for a Tom Kruse, etc. Not so, most 
people I know (myself included) are just wanting to find a relationship 
with someone to whom they are attracked, and with whom they can truly be 
best friends, and share their life with. Just a real, warm, and honest 
relationship between two people. Now true, there are those folks out 
there looking for Mr. or Miss perfection, but those folks are usually 
pretty shallow individuals anyway. If all you want is somebody gorgious 
to jump into the sack with, then your life is pretty shallow!
Joes is right however when he says just get out there and deal! A dating 
service should be only a Part of your whole dating stratigy. I wouldn't 
rely totally on Any dating service. Use them for what they're worth, you 
might find some one wonderful, you might not, but just get out there and 
Ask, it never hurts.
I hope you find this encouraging.

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