Path: utzoo!utgpu!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!yale!bunker!hcap!hnews!203!11!Vixen
From: Vixen@f11.n203.z1.fidonet.org (Vixen)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Re: DATING SERVICE
Message-ID: <13731@bunker.UUCP>
Date: 28 Aug 90 01:00:38 GMT
Sender: wtm@bunker.UUCP
Reply-To: Vixen@f11.n203.z1.fidonet.org
Distribution: misc
Organization: FidoNet node 1:203/11 - S.I.R.E.N. NET-MAIL, Sacramento CA
Lines: 63
Approved: wtm@bunker.UUCP

Index Number: 10014

Hi Joe,

I want to echo your statement regarding your comment that one would
be better off seeking a date from people they know from school,
churches, clubs, organizations and et cetera!

If you will allow me to be egotistical sounding (to further make a
point). I am in very good shape, with lots of big blonde hair,
hazel eyes, considered quite attractive, have a good sense of
humour and love being active and taking part in life, and my
physical appearence and demeanor belie my age by quite a good many
years.

I have no great problems with being approached for dates and that
includes both abled and disABLED males despite my obvious
disabilities (of course there are those exceptions) and I have
turned down my share of interested men.

Now the point is, "that" is in the real world! The world where
people actually see me, the world that I make it a point to be in
and be seen in. The world where I have long ago stopped being a
wall flower and learned to become socially interactive. Anyone who
knows your Vixen, can tell you, that men like her and many (in the
real world) can get past my disabilities.

Now, in the world of the dating service, forget it. What will be
seen primarily is that I am a "BLIND, HEARING IMPAIRED women with
RESPIRATORY PROBLEMS and some other health problems as well
(Capitols intended to make a point!) The fact that I am a lively,
fun and intelligent, very attractive woman, will fall in the
background! I would bet that the odds would favour, those
disabilities will eliminate any interest and investigation of me by
those utilizing the same dating service.

I suspect that any dating service saying or implying that can give
the disABLED person any kind of guarantee for a good or number of
successful matchups, is stretching things and their intent (if a
commercial ventureZ) is to get your money.

I think we, as disABLED people, sometimes forget, that
realtionships and dating doesn't always come that easy for the TABS
either! And the reality is, many folks do have a hard time with us
and it requires us to have enough confidence to get out in the
world when we can and to involve ourselves with people in social
settings.

If we cannot see past our own disabilities, how then can we believe
that others can and therefore, we are defeated before we begin!

I would also add, that it is not necessary to be a physical beauty
to find that some people out there in the world can find a us
attractive. But one thing for sure, such things will not fall in
our laps from the sky and it is up to us to initiate the momentum!

Keepin' the faith!

.                     Vixen

--
Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!203!11!Vixen
Internet: Vixen@f11.n203.z1.fidonet.org