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From: Adrienne.Barhydt@p0.f14.n105.z1.fidonet.org (Adrienne Barhydt)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Asking for help
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Date: 4 Sep 90 18:28:39 GMT
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>  I said that I am feeling kind of down.  I'm not sure why 
>exactly, but I think it's because I see no end in sight to 
>all of this. I'm soooooo tired of all the IV's, meds, 
>doctors, nurses etc.  I don't feel well and I tired of that 
>too. 
      
This really hits home with me.  The details are different but I 
reached the point where I felt like I couldn't take it any more.  
I believe that what you say about being down because you see no 
end in sight is true; I know that a large part of the problem for 
me was not so much "now" alone, but "now" in the context of not 
seeing any end to it all.  I've been going for some counseling 
since earlier this summer.  One of my outstanding issues is to 
learn not to take each new symptom, i.e. problem, and mentally 
follow it through getting worse and worse and worse.  Even if my 
reasoning is correct it does me no good to go through it.  My 
focus needs to be on what is happening NOW.  If I look back I can 
see that whatever has come up, I have been able to deal with it.  
I am dealing with what is happening now.  But for the stretch of 
time that I wasn't successfully dealing with what was happening 
right then, it was in part because my focus was on what seemed 
likely to happen in the future. 
       
>I t's like admitting that I can't handle this alone.  I feel 
>weak.  I'll tell him when he gets home, I'm scared but he's 
>always been so suportive that I'm sure he will understand 
>this. 
 
You *are* handling this, and, I believe, in just the right way.  
You have recognized something that may be growing into a problem 
and you figured out the right person to ask for help (a referral) 
and now you're prepared to follow up on that referral.  You are 
doing GREAT.  This is something different for you so it's not 
surprising that it is scarey.  Nobody can do it all alone.  I 
guess that's part of why we are all here in Abled.  The posts 
I've read from you tell me that you are strong.  But even if you 
are strong sometimes things just get to be too much.  That is 
certainly how it goes for me. 
  
Good Luck!!!!
  
Take it easy....but take it!
  
Adrienne

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