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From: Adrienne.Barhydt@p0.f14.n105.z1.fidonet.org (Adrienne Barhydt)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Re: Terminology as a Red Herring
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Date: 4 Sep 90 18:28:53 GMT
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> Just changing one previously "correct" label to a new 
>contemporarily "correct" (says WHO, damnit!) label doesn't 
>do one single bit of good for you or for me. 
  
You're right.  What has to change is attitudes.  Do you have any 
suggestions of how that can be done? 
   
>I have two labels for the people I meet who have no legs (I 
>have no tail!) or who dove into a shallow pool (I once shot 
>myself!) or who's eyes aren't up to standards (one of my 
>ears works very well most of the time!) or who move 
>unpredictably (no fair talking to my ex-wife!). Those labels 
>are "Sir" and "Maam", whether ten years old or ninety. 
   
You are light-years ahead of a good many people.  
                                                     
>Opening a door for someone is no different than getting 
>behind them and tilting their chair back to clear the 
>threshold. Or holding their hand so they're not afraid of 
>falling. You do this for a three year old child or a ninety 
>year old parent, with no thought that you're doing it 
>because the person is three or ninety: you do it because 
>it's simply the thing to do. You also do it for anyone 
>between these ages, with no reservations, if that's what 
>they need to avoid their individual fear of falling. You 
>don't need a label to help you define your rationale for 
>acting; you just act. This is also known as "common 
>courtesy". 
  
Just don't open a door for me if I'm going through it on my feet 
without telling me first, or better yet asking me.  If I am on my 
feet anything, let me repeat that, ANYTHING that I have my hand 
on is supporting me.  If you pull a door open for me and I have 
my hand on it already, I'm gonna fall flat on my face.   And if 
you see me loading my scooter into my trunk, don't touch it.  I 
know how it is balanced, I know the angle it has to go into the 
trunk to fit.  If you want to help, ask me and if I have a place 
to sit down and the time to tell you exactly how to do it, then 
you can help me.     
   
All I am saying is what seems obvious, may in fact not be.  I 
need help with all kinds of things, lots of help.  I am learning 
to ask for it.  But more and more I appreciate people who say to 
me "how can I help" instead of just doing what they think would 
be helpful.  Unfortunately, despite the best of intentions, what 
people decide on their own to do for me is often more of a 
hindrance than a help and sometimes dangerous as well.            
    
                   
>I think that the person who wrote that article was someone 
>who gives too much thought to what should be an unconscious 
                               ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>act (or trend). 
 ^^^
  
It should be, but unfortunately, it is not.  What I see in the 
article is an attempt to make the point that a person is a person 
first.  Writing the words out, "a person is a person first" seems 
so self evident that I feel dumb writing it.  Clearly, it is an 
attitude that you learned very young.  How can others learn it?  
I think that the attempt to change attitudes by changing language 
is incomplete if that is all that one is doing.  But maybe it 
gets some people thinking.  (Hey, how 'bout that out there, has 
any change in any sort of labels for anything changed anybody's 
attitudes in any way?)  As you said in different words, if you 
just change the word without changing the attitude, the new words 
just take on the old, negative connotations. 
 
>   Jesse (almost upset) 
 
I did not intend to upset you or anyone else with the article.  I 
hoped to get a dialog going and the article seemed like a good 
starting point.  I know that the responses I've received have 
given me more to think about.  I don't know if I'll ever get to 
the point that I feel like I've got it all figured out.  
Fortunately, I enjoy exploring different ideas along the way. 
  
Take it easy....but take it!
  
Adrienne
 

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