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From: malloy@nprdc.navy.mil (Sean Malloy)
Newsgroups: comp.dcom.telecom
Subject: Re: Answering Machine Messages
Message-ID: <11806@accuvax.nwu.edu>
Date: 6 Sep 90 15:00:00 GMT
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Reply-To: Sean Malloy <malloy@nprdc.navy.mil>
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X-Telecom-Digest: Volume 10, Issue 624, Message 3 of 13


>[Moderator's Note: How about this one for a succinct, to-the-point
>announcement: "This is a recorded announcement. For your convenience,
>this line is answered at all times by an answering machine. You will
>never reach anyone direct at this number. At the tone, leave your
>name, telephone number, a brief message and the time of day that you
>called. If it is convenient for me, and I wish to do so, I will return
>your call." Nothing left to the imagination, is there!  Another
>machine here in Chicago I've called comes right to the point. It
>answers, "You know what this is, what it is used for, and what to do
>next." (Beep)   PAT]

I fell in love with an answering machine message from a recent 'Shoe'
comic strip, and adapted it for my machine. It's arrogant, it's
honest, and since putting it on my answering machine, the number of
telephone solicitations has dropped off almost completely (one call in
two months, when the previous rate was two or three every week):
"Hello. You've reached Sean Malloy and Richard Campbell. We can't come
to the phone right now, because we're listening intently to this
machine to decide whether you're someone we want to talk with.  So, at
the beep, start talking. If we want to talk to you, we'll probably
come on the line with some lame excuse, such as 'I was just on my way
out the door when the phone rang.' If you get all the way through your
message, and we don't pick up, it's because we don't want to talk to
you."


Sean Malloy                                 
Navy Personnel Research & Development Center
San Diego, CA 92152-6800                    
malloy@nprdc.navy.mil                       


[Moderator's Note: Actually, I reprinted that Shoe cartoon here
several months ago, but it is worth a repeat. Thanks for sending it
in!  PAT]