Path: utzoo!utgpu!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!mailrus!accuvax.nwu.edu!nucsrl!telecom-request From: wb8foz@mthvax.cs.miami.edu (David Lesher) Newsgroups: comp.dcom.telecom Subject: Re: Answering Machine Messages Message-ID: <12332@accuvax.nwu.edu> Date: 19 Sep 90 03:40:25 GMT Sender: news@accuvax.nwu.edu Reply-To: David Lesher Organization: NRK Clinic for habitual NetNews abusers Lines: 95 Approved: Telecom@eecs.nwu.edu X-Submissions-To: telecom@eecs.nwu.edu X-Administrivia-To: telecom-request@eecs.nwu.edu X-Telecom-Digest: Volume 10, Issue 657, Message 2 of 4 |Michael P. Deignan tells of his "special" answering machine tape that |sounds like | | " The number you have reached ... | has been disconnected..." | I guess it is time to tell the best telco_tale I have ever heard. I hope Mr. Moderator will keep his flames in check. First, it's not MY story, and secondly, it comes from his Pax Belliphonis era, i.e. recorded history. A long long time ago, in a CO far, far away ... A friend of mine named Phil opened a service business. Since, at that time, he lived with his mother, he needed a second line for the enterprise. The only problem was that the LAST sub on that assignment was a woman who led, shall we say, an active social life. Men (LOTS of MEN) called at ALL hours of the day and night. Some implied that they were paying for the phone, and her apartment, and ... They tended to be upset with Phil's mother (much less Phil!) when she answered the phone. They got very abusive and DEMANDED to talk to Jane, who it seems, had left town in a manner imitated years later by the Baltimore Colts. Now Phil knew that his mother would not tolerate much of this. But short of getting a new assignment, and reprinting all his cards and stationary, AND telling all his customers, what could he do? Clearly an answering machine was the solution. The only problem was: In those pre-Carterphone days, you could not buy such. (After all, it was FOREIGN EQUIPMENT.) So Phil called up his friends in the {deleted} stockroom (guess where he worked BEFORE he opened his business) and he soon had a used (oops -- remanufactured) 1B answering machine at home. The only problem was: Only those folks willing to rent one were supposed to have same. So Phil recorded the standard panel office message "I'm sorry, the number you have reached is not a working number" as an OGM. He also futzed with the box (more like a M1 tank, really -- have you ever seen a 1B?) so that it answered with a flash of supervision, then played the message, the way the CO did. (Alas, it did NOT cut through to an intercept operator afterwards -- the way a real disconnected number did.) All was fine for months. Most of the men gave up on Jane, and Phil's customers all knew enough to talk to the box. Besides, if you called from a coin slot, you got your nickel back! Then the machine started to take LOTS of calls. No messages, but there were many click-click-click sounds in the background, along with some words later heard on tapes made in the Oval Office. This kept up for about a week. One day, Phil got back in a little early (1900) and sat down to do paperwork. The phone went crazy. Ring, "I'm sorry.." Click. Ring "I'm", click, etc. After about 20 rounds of this, Phil reached over and answered the phone: "Hello?" "Oh my god, mister ... whatever you do, don't hang up," the voice said. "Oh, why is that?" Phil asked. "This is the telephone company, and you have REAL PROBLEMS on your phone." Then the poor switchman went on to explain what had happened. It seems that Ma had botched his bill, and claimed that he was three months behind on his local service. So the business office called to chew him out. But ... "the number you have reached" ... So of course the Business Office asked Accounting why THEY were still billing this guy whose line was not in service. They, of course, said it WAS in service. This filtered on down to the CO, where they checked his pair. Nope, it is NOT tied to intercept at the frame. "Ring, I'm sorry" ... But IT MUST BE! So they traced the pair out through the cable vault. "Ring, I'm sorry" still came through. So The Boss told Joe Frame to "CLEAR THIS TROUBLE before you leave today" and that's what Joe was doing. At first, Joe thought it must be crossed with another pair in the switch. So he unplugged the old intercept announcment machine. "Ring, I'm sorry" ... So Joe's NEXT thought was that the pair was SOMEHOW crossed with one ending up in another CO. So, one after another, Joe was calling the night man at the other CO's, having each one unplug HIS announcer, and trying again. Even in those days, that was a lot of CO's -- hence a lot of calls. Joe had worked his way through about 60% of the list when Phil answered. Joe asked Phil's indulgence, and said he would call back. Phil answered, but as he said years later: "I really should have let it ring through ONE more time." Joe proclaimed the trouble cleared, and went home. Phil disconnected the 1B, and got a friend to help him move it to the basement. Oh, BTW. Phil got a refund for three months service. He would have sent it back, but HOW could he explain it? wb8foz@mthvax.cs.miami.edu (305) 255-RTFM pob 570-335 33257-0335