Path: utzoo!utgpu!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!yale!bunker!hcap!hnews!130!33.0!Linda.Iverson
From: Linda.Iverson@p0.f33.n130.z1.fidonet.org (Linda Iverson)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Re: Marriage/dating, etc.
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Date: 21 Sep 90 15:17:40 GMT
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Hi, Aaron!
I enjoyed hearing from you again.  Please don't mind my asking,
but is the religious community to which you belong something
your family has always belonged to, or did you join it as a
adult?  My religious faith is a big part of my life, too.  I've
thought how interesting it is that religion can be both helpful
and harmful at the same time.  I'd like to hear some of what you
believe and your lifestyle, if you don't mind sharing.  I think
you just have to take the advicd your friends offer, but
remember they are not you.  They don't live your disability. 
They haven't worked out the methods of dealing with day-to-day
situations as you have.  As I told you, even through what has
happened to me I believe there are people with no disabilities,
the same disability or a different one that can be accepting.  I
believe others make of our disabilities what we let them.  If I
am uncomfortable about my blindness, they will be.  On the
otherhand, if I am upfront and tell someone my methods for
dealing with things and that my way may not be another blind
person's way most people will accept me in spite of blindness. 
I have met people who never accept your disability--you could
walk on water and it still wouldn't matter to them, but I've
come to realize that my true friends will accept me as I am. 
Yes, if they find a flaw I can change I'll do that, but
blindness I can't change.  I think just be yourself.  Show
you're in control of your disability and that's all you can do. 
I try to remember the creed "God, grant me the serenity to
accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference."  I do know my own
happiness comes from myself.
Hang in there, Aaron!  You'll make it!
Take care!
Linda

 

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