Path: utzoo!attcan!uunet!cs.utexas.edu!yale!bunker!hcap!hnews!130!10!Linda.Iverson
From: Linda.Iverson@f10.n130.z1.fidonet.org (Linda Iverson)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Marriage/dating, etc.
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Date: 20 Sep 90 16:05:01 GMT
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Index Number: 10543

Hi, Aaron!
 
I saw your message and thought I'd join in this thread.  I am a totally 
blind, single parent.  After ten years of marriage, my husband just 
came home about two years ago and said he was filing for divorce.  
He had become involved with a woman who had five children with three 
different fathers.  They had their baby five weeks after we signed 
the divorce papers.  Divorce is against everything I believe in.  I 
happen to be a strong Christian--rather old-fashioned; I believe you 
get married first and then have your children.  The divorce took about 
a year to complete.  I had a very good support group of friends and 
my pastor.  I moved back to my native state of Texas about a year ago 
and am in the process of beginning my own word processing and braille 
translating company.  I feel my child comes first.  I have a ten-year-old 
son named Jonathan.
 
I still believe in family, the sanctity of marriage and that people 
with disabilities can be married.  Don't let people who are not you 
and do not live your disability make a judgment as to whether you can 
get married.  I went to a wonderful support group for displaced homemakers 
and have come to realize I'm not an old shoe that was thrown out.  
You know what they say--one man's trash is another man's treasure. 
 I knew I had to feel good about myself in order to survive and be 

a good mom to my little guy.  I think disabilities can make us stronger 
if we let them.  Don't be afraid to get involved in community activities. 
 If you attend a church or synagogue be upfront about what you can't 

do but also what you can do.  Maybe you don't have as much money as 
some, but money only makes life easier; it doesn't bring happiness.
 
I have read THE MAKING OF BLIND MEN, incidentally.  I thought it a 
very interesting book.  Do you recall the author?  I'd like to read 
it again.
 
Good luck and take care!  Oh, yes, you're probably wondering if my 
ex-husband is blind, too.  Yes, he is and his new wife is sighted. 
 But adultery would have hurt just as much had I been able to see. 

 Have a great weekend!
 
Linda Iverson
 

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