Path: utzoo!utgpu!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!yale!bunker!hcap!hnews!109!304!Floria.Antin
From: Floria.Antin@f304.n109.z1.fidonet.org (Floria Antin)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Re:dating/marriage
Message-ID: <14345@bunker.UUCP>
Date: 21 Sep 90 15:08:49 GMT
Sender: wtm@bunker.UUCP
Reply-To: Floria.Antin@f304.n109.z1.fidonet.org
Distribution: misc
Organization: FidoNet node 1:109/304 - DynamicDuoRBBS, Springfield VA
Lines: 38
Approved: wtm@bunker.UUCP

Index Number: 10560

> marriage etc.  One of the biggest griefs in my life is that it is felt
> by my community that I must NOT marry given my condition. There is no
> one that will even make me an introduction. I am only able to work
> part time so my wages are meager and it is felt not sufficient for a
> family. It hurts me because the community in which I live I am the
> only single male I know of my age range (31). this makes it even
> harder to relate and be a part of the group. I have noted a tremendous
> change in myself these last 5 years because as one by one my friends
> have married off and the only people I know are single students who
> now seem to young to befriend as I had once before there is an

I have read your posts in this echo and I would like to offer some 
suggestions.  If there is an MS support group in your area you shoukld 
join it.  It helps to talk with others who face similar situatiions. It 
lets you know that you are not alone.  Often it has been suport groups 
and/or advocate groups that have changed how society treated people with 
disabilities.  What is your community?  How large is it? Perhaps you 
should broaden your horizons.
I am the parent of an adult with severe mental retardation.  I know how 
helpful and theraputic it was for me when I first joined a group of 
parents that also had children with mental retardation.  Here were 
people who knew what I was talking about.  I no longer felt alone.  
I also learned of resources available (this was before an education for 
all children was a right).  Today my adult child lives in a group home 
with four other adults and staff and attends a day activity program.  
There was a time that the level of the disability would have precluded 
anything (outside of livingat home) other than a large state 
institution.  The recent passage of the ADA by congress was the result 
of intense lobbying by advocates for fair treatment of persons with 
disabilites.  Do not let others define for you what you can and cannot 
do.  Certainly there are people withMS who both date and marry.
e

--
Uucp: ..!{decvax,oliveb}!bunker!hcap!hnews!109!304!Floria.Antin
Internet: Floria.Antin@f304.n109.z1.fidonet.org