Path: utzoo!utgpu!news-server.csri.toronto.edu!cs.utexas.edu!yale!bunker!hcap!hnews!260!204!Ann.Parsons
From: Ann.Parsons@f204.n260.z1.fidonet.org (Ann Parsons)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Re: Dating/Marriage
Message-ID: <14344@bunker.UUCP>
Date: 21 Sep 90 15:08:38 GMT
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Hi Aaron,

>"I am adressing this to you becasue you have been kind enough to be 
>"the ice breaker for me on the SIG. 

Well, thanks. I appreciate that.

>"I would like to address the 
>"topic of marriage etc.  One of the biggest griefs in my life is 
>"that it is felt by my community that I must NOT marry given my 
>"condition. There is no one that will even make me an introduction. 

Hmmm, Well, I can see that some people might feel that way and unfortunately 
that is how most of the world sees it. But there are special people around, 
you know. I found one. If God wants you to play on a team, He'll find you 
someone.

Are you bound by the views of your community? Could you find companionship 
elsewhere? Do you have any hobbies/interests which would take you away from 
home/community/job for at least a few hours? Do you know about The Action 
Center for the Disabled? They have programs for all kinds of people.  They 
include concerts, movies, plays, picnics, dances, swimming etc.They are going 
on a camping trip this weekend at Latchworth park. 

>"I am only able to work part time so my wages are meager and it is 
>"felt not sufficient for a family. 

Who says that a single income is sufficient any more? Most households have two 
wage earners.

>"It hurts me because the 
>"community in which I live I am the only single male I know of my 
>"age range (31). this makes it even harder to relate and be a part 
>"of the group. I have noted a tremendous change in myself these 
>"last 5 years because as one by one my friends have married off and 
>"the only people I know are single students who now seem to young 
>"to befriend as I had once before there is an alienation and 
>"emotional isolation that was not there before. 

Yes, I can see that this might be the case. I think that often it may be 
harder for men with disabilities than it is for women. I can only speak for 
myself. I feel that if romance comes, great! But, I am not seeking it 
actively. I have had relationships, indeed, my last one was superb, but he 
died. So, there 'tis.

>"well enough of my 
>"woes but if you or someone wants to pick up this topic I would 
>"appreciate it. 
there has been some discussion about this topic in recent weeks. Check back 
messages, and look forward to further replies.

Ann P.

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