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From: wilber%aludra.usc.edu@usc.EDU (John Wilber)
Newsgroups: soc.feminism
Subject: Re: Girls, girls, girls
Summary: "Girl" vs. "Nigger"  The Difference
Message-ID: <12345@chaph.usc.edu>
Date: 8 Oct 90 22:55:51 GMT
References: <9010022222.AA16693@liberty.cs.columbia.edu> <12322@chaph.usc.edu> <1990Oct4.021201.23780@nntp-server.caltech.edu>
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In article <1990Oct4.021201.23780@nntp-server.caltech.edu> hmj2@deimos.caltech.EDU writes:
[I said...]
>>What we are talking about here is not a difficulty in communication, but
>>a juvenile refusal to understand.  If my use of that word upsets you
>>because you think it means I am thinking something and I tell you this
>>is not true but you continue to insist that I mean something other than
>>what I claim, then you are calling me a liar (and a sexist) when
>>I am neither, even though you know better.  That's what makes it so
>>frustrating.

>So are we to assume that you would feel perfectly happy calling an
>African-American 'nigger', provided that you had the chance to explain
>that YOU don't find the reference at all insulting?

The difference is that I DO consider "nigger" to be a derogatory term, and
if I used it, my intent would be to insult/degrage the person I was
talking about.  If I said that I didn't mean to imply anything negative
I would be lying.  This is not the case when I say that I don't think
than "girl" carries any negative connotations when I use it.

If you met a 5-year old who had always heard blacks referred to as
"niggers" and just thought that was what they were called, would you
say he was being a racist?  Would you be angry with him for using the
word?

To directly answer your question though, if it was the case that I for
some reason didn't mean anything derogatory by using the word "nigger"
and I had a chance to explain myself (as we might give the 5-year old
a chance to explain) then nobody SHOULD take offense (unless they
thought I was a liar).  The fact is that the word "nigger" is commonly
accepted as having a derogatory meaning and I would have to spend a
lot of time explaining myself for no good reason (especially since
there is a perfectly good word to use as a substitute).  In the "girl"
situation, the case is a bit different.  I don't think many people
consider "girl" (when used properly) to infer any negative opinion
(how many 40 year olds have "boyfriends" and "girlfriends"?).  Wasting
a lot of time arguing about this word is just a stupid as if I decided
to try to change everyone's definition of "nigger".  It is just as
waste of time.

In any event, unless you think I am a liar you have no reason to be
upset at me for using the word "girl" if I explain that I mean nothing
derogatory.

Thanks,
John