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From: U5434122@ucsvc.ucs.unimelb.edu.au
Newsgroups: comp.dcom.telecom
Subject: Telecom Acronyms
Message-ID: <13264@accuvax.nwu.edu>
Date: 12 Oct 90 23:14:34 GMT
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X-Telecom-Digest: Volume 10, Issue 729, Message 4 of 9


 From {The Age}, 12th October, 1990, Melbourne, Australia.
By Leon Gettler, Communications reporter.
 
Is it all over between PETA and LES since she found out about the
LEOPARD?  Was SID linked to the MAFIA?  And where did DRACULA fit into
all this?  Was he really a VAMPIRE or just one of the DAGS?
 
Confused?  Just consult the Telecom staff dictionary, an introduction
the to world of tele-babble.  Insiders in every profession have their
jargon, but no one generates it faster than telecommunications
engineers.
 
Take, for instance the story of the chap sent to Cairns on an
emergency mission several years ago when the phone system was wiped
out by flood.  He designed the Cairns restoration and provisioning
program.  No prizes for working out the acronym.  "It just rolled off
the tongue," said a Telecom official this week.
 
Step into the world of telecommunications and you find yourself in a
sea of acronyms and jargon.  Some examples: DNA (does not answer), DND
(did not dial), MBC (major business customer), HC&F (heat, coil and
fuse), LIBFA (line bearer fault analysis), DELY (delivery), CIE
(customer interface equipment), PP (prompt public telephone) and TTT
(terminatng trunk tandem).
 
Traditionally, acronyms have been used to help us remember
terminology.  Usage has transformed many into ordinary words.
Queensland and Northern Territory Aerial Services is always Qantas.
The Australian and New Zealand Army Corps gave us Anzac, the North
Atlantic Treaty Organisation is NATO.
 
But Telecom Australia seems to have done the reverse.  It produced
DRACULA (data recording and concentrator unit for line applications),
VAMPIRE (videotex access monitoring and priority incident reporting
equipment), LEOPARD (local engineering operations processing and
analyses of recorded data), MAFIA (maintenance and fleet information
analysis), SULTAN (subscribers' universal line testing access
network), CARGO (complaints analysis recording and graphing
organisation), CATNAP (computer-aided network assessment program) and
DAGS (digit-absorbing group selector).
 
In many ways, Telecom employees are lucky.  They can see PARIS
(product accounting and reporting information system) or even MARS
(microfiche auto-retrieval system). They don't even need a MAP
(manual assistance position), the work station for telephonists.
 
Telephone operators-turned-philosophers can turn to PLATO (programmed
evaluation review technique) over a few POTS (plain old telephone
services) of CIDER (costing input, data editing and reporting) or SODA
(service order debit advice). and romantics can contemplate EROS
(emitter-receiver for optical systems).
 
But things can get confusing, too.  COLDEWS (computerised lines depot
external works scheduling) does not cover grass in the morning.  And
TACONET is short for Telecom Australia computer network, not tapas
tucker.  Similarly, CONTRAFAST is not a Nicaraguan health regime but
the consolidated trunk forecast.
 
Are Telecom employees happy with the ALP (associated line prime) after
the [Australian] Labor Party's national conference last month?  And
does COM (computer output to microfilm) suggest that the reds have
escaped from under the beds and infiltrated the phone exchanges?
 
The names are also a worry.  There are nine males (REX, JACK, SID,
DAVID, LARS, LES, LEN, MARC AND SAM) but only four females (PETA,
DAISY, DOT AND SUSIE).  Koorie and other non-English names do not get
a mention.  And what about the indelicacy of TART (TACONET
availability and response time monitoring) and TIT (technician in
training)?
                 ---------------------- 

Don't blame me if my fingers did not type what my eyes saw!
 
Danny
 

[Moderator's Note: Thanks for taking the time to type in such a clever
report. Speaking of obscure acronyms, everyone must know of CARE, the
organization which provides assistance to other countries in need. But
do you remember what the letters mean?  Committee on American Relief
in Europe.  And lest we forget, the zip in the postal Zip Code refers
to the Zone Improvement Plan. Seriously.   PAT]