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From: Nadine.Thomas@p1.f10.n300.z1.fidonet.org (Nadine Thomas)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Angry
Message-ID: <15140@bunker.UUCP>
Date: 24 Oct 90 04:35:28 GMT
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Index Number: 11263

 AF> I know this most possibly isn't the place for this but I need to 
 AF> vent my frustration. Tonight I went food shopping at Wegamns. I 

This is the PERFECT place for it.

 AF> have a handicapped permit so I pulled into a cited place. The car 
 AF> next to me is inhabited by a fellow that looks a little like Rocky 
 AF> S. And he starts yelling at me asking me if I have a permit. I 
 AF> dont him that I did however, he continued to say that if I left my 
 AF> car there he would make me very sorry. I replied "I am leaving my 
 AF> car here. And if you have a problem with it call the police". 
 AF> Which he did while I was in the store shopping.  In all honesty I 
 AF> wanted to hit him. I wouldn't if I could but I wanted to. I felt 
 AF> outraged. Can someone help me I can't really understand my 
 AF> feelings. I felt so powerless to protect myself and somehow 
 AF> violated. I thought if somebody understood it would be here on 
 AF> this BBS.  Thank you, Aaron

Let's start at the feelings -  powerless and violated were a good
start - how about frustrated, angry, fearful, sad  -  do they seem
to fit?

These are the NORMAL feelings that can be felt during an episode
like you went through.

Once I had a guy approach me and say VERY sarcastically "I always
wondered what a handicapped person looked like."  I started feeling
all those feelings and I wanted to tell him to look in the mirror
cause he was mentally handicapped but I let it go because all that
would have happened would have been a fight or something and that
would have made things worse.

Another time, it was late, I was hurting and tired, and I stopped
in to the store. I parked at a marked space (had a loaner car cause
mine with HC plates was in the shop) and had placard on dash.  A
man got out of a car and told me it was a handicapped space and I
snapped at him that I knew and my placard was in the window, and I
proceeded into the store only to turn around, go back outside, call
him from his car, and apologize to him - you see he was trying to
protect our spaces for us and I was angry at the world that day and
feeling sorry for myself, and I took it out on him - I told him I
was having a bad day and I asked him to please NOT stop questioning
people who are parking in handicapped spots.

I think that in both cases they were trying to help us and I need
to understand that sometimes that help is not always diplomatic and
is sometimes without thought.

I'm glad you shared it with us and I know you will get LOTS of
replies to this cause it seems to be a favorite topic (giggle).

Nadine

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