Path: utzoo!attcan!uunet!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!usc!ucla-cs!v075n3an@ubvmsa.cc.buffalo.edu
From: v075n3an@ubvmsa.cc.buffalo.edu (Michael T Mucci)
Newsgroups: sci.med.aids
Subject: RE:JOHN testing +, and friends concern
Message-ID: <40699@shemp.CS.UCLA.EDU>
Date: 27 Oct 90 15:19:41 GMT
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Note:	Copyright 1990 by Daniel R. Greening.  Permission granted for
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your love and caring for JOHN is quite evident.. what a great friend to 
have.. hes a lucky guy.. i need to tell you taht JOhn is experiencing a 
LOSS... a loss ofhealth.. a loss of future  perhaps.... and ALL of us who 
experience loss go thru sever predicatble stages. .as outlined by ELIZABETH 
KULBER ROSS (who has an excellent new book out on loss and 
AIDS-paperback--get it for yourself)....they are:

DENIAL
ANGER
DEPRESSION
BARGAINING-OH PLEASE GOD.MAKE ME BETTER,, I SWEAR ILL GO TO CHURCH EVERYDAY
ACCEPTANCE

this is a process... it takes time.. John is obviously at the DENIAL stage.
and for a good reason.. perhaps his conscious mind could not handle the 
NEWS NOW>...... and hed FLIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!>. this is a protection factor of 
the EGO..... you dont want to push someone too soon to accept something 
that is so terrible they may not have the coping skills to deal with it.

let him be... and in all politiness BACK OFF
take that caring you have for  him soo much and show it by allowing him HIS 
space and time to deal with this awakening...
cont next letter...........