Path: utzoo!attcan!uunet!jarthur!ucivax!gateway
From: larryc@poe.jpl.nasa.gov (Larry E. Carroll)
Newsgroups: soc.feminism
Subject: Re: rumor or truth--lesbian relationships
Message-ID: <10153@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
Date: 29 Oct 90 22:15:51 GMT
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>For me, being a lesbian means focusing my energy towards women,
>because I love women.  Anger towards men does not enter into the
>picture: I just don't put much energy towards men, positive OR
>negative, for the most part.
>
>If anything, my interactions with women has seemed to indicate that
>straight women for the most part have more anger (if any) towards
>men than lesbians in general.  This is because men are a larger part
>of their lives, so there are opportunities for men to do things which
>anger them (i.e. a boyfriend being abusive or having an affair).

One thing about this topic annoys me, and that is that the original
question (and many other topics discussed on the net) assumes that
"all Lesbians" (or all feminists, or all men, or whatever) are alike
and that you can know a generic Lesbian (or feminist, or man, or
whatever).  This is called stereotyping, folks, and my very long
temper is beginning to shorten the more time I am exposed to net-talk.

I've lived with two Lesbians for the last six years, & met many of
their friends of all the several sexes.  My friendships with straight
women (and other) friends is usually very emotionally intimate, so I
hear problems that they sometimes don't even share with their women
friends (such as one very activist feminist bewildered by her bondage
fantasies).  My impression matches Ann's (above) for the most part.

The times when I've stirred most anger is when I've seemed to intrude
on the Lesbian world, such as when I "stole" a bisexual lover from her
Lesbian lover.  (The truth was that she was ready to leave, and it
could just as easily been another woman that she fell for -- which she
did a year later with a woman who was so right for her that they
married).

There are Lesbians who hate or fear men or find them alien &
repulsive.  It does the world no good to deny this truth.  But there
seem to be at least as many Lesbians who like men very much.  I don't
know the reasons why, but I often "feel" this affinity from the very
first time I meet them, probably through body language that I'm not
consciously aware of.

And to expand this topic a bit, Lesbians are as diverse as any other
group.  I've known some (for instance) who were so conservative that
they considered Reagan a flaming liberal.  Can we knock off the
excessive generalizations about them?

			Larry Carroll
			"Takes-us" (correct pronunciation of Texas)
			Dancin' Fool