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From: Aaron.Feldman@f204.n260.z1.fidonet.org (Aaron Feldman)
Newsgroups: misc.handicap
Subject: Re: M.S.
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Date: 7 Nov 90 21:22:19 GMT
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Index Number: 11631

Don, Thank you for your timely and thoughtful response. Its hard to 
believe you are picking this up all the way down under. Talk about 
miracles. Anyway the MS society here is quite good about literature and 
I have read most of what I can get my hands on. For me, I think the most 
difficult part of this disease is feeling like I am living a lie. I look 
fine (sitting) feel so darn tired and feel sometimes I don't fit in the 
ABLED world and at the same time deny that I have any disability. I 
don't know how long it takes after being diagnosed (8 years here) to 
stop the denial. This denial I don't believe is the poor me variety it 
is insidous and this I do realize and soemtimes it seems almost 
unconscious. EG a friend was going to a concert last night I wanted to 
go but I had such fatigue I could not move my leg. But instead of being 
honest, I lied to him and said I had to go elsewhere. I felt I can't 
explain to him (or even to myself ) what is wrong for it makes 
absolutely no sense to me. It always keeps coming back to that point for 
me i.e, it makes no sense to me why I can't do a particular activity. 
Thus perhaps a poor me comes along when I start to feel I am differernt 
from others and yes I do retreat until I have more stamina. I hope this 
makes sense to you. Now my friend what to go on a day trip which I know 
I can't muster the energy for and I am busing myself thinking of an 
excuse because the reality seems so incrediable to me. Thanks againa and 
pls let me hear from you. I found your letter really infomrative and was 
interested in the mention of a diet. No one up here has made mention of 
it. Thanks again, Aaron

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